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almostempty · 5 months ago

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Self Esteem

Pairing: fuckboy!joel x f!reader

Summary: Joel blows you off for your date. You end up blowing him when he shows up looking to score. Inspired by the song Self Esteem by The Offspring.

Warnings: kinda mean/fuckboy joel, mild dub con, smut, PWP, oral sex (m receiving), unprotected piv sex, joel comes on your tits, dirty talk, one (1) slap, choose your own joel era, readers on some dumb bitch juice for this man (i would be too), hit and run, smash and dash,

Notes: PLEASE send any feedback, this is the first thing i’ve ever written and posted, i’m tryn’ to practice and gain confidence bc my dream fic doesn’t exist so i gotta write it, it’s scary to post, y’all are so brave wtf

WC: 2.9K

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/57513220

Part 2: Want You Bad

Part 3: Kick and Scream

Part 4: The more you suffer

Masterlist: Here

It’s a moderately painful type of suffering. Like purgatory. You’d made plans to go out tonight with Joel. It’s useless to expect him to show up, but you got ready and anxiously paced around your living room anyway. Checking your phone, at thirty minutes past the time he had said he’d pick you up. You sent him a text. His read receipts were on; he saw your message. Another thirty minutes pass agonizingly slowly. He hasn’t responded. You can feel a mild headache forming behind your eyes.

You grab a drink from your fridge and collapse on the couch with a sigh. A mixture of anger, regret, and rejection churns in your gut. You shouldn’t have set yourself up for disappointment.

No, he shouldn’t be such an asshole. You’ve got to stick up for yourself. Tell him off for his bullshit. The manipulation, standing you up, the lies. You know he’s using you.

Unfortunately, you find the toxic rush addictive. The way he charms and seduces you after disappearing or acting like an idiot. You enable his behavior every time.

And it’s sick that you like it. You like knowing it’s your door he knocks on in the middle of the night. He won’t take you on a date, but he still can’t stay away.

No. Not this time. You’re done letting him waste your time with plans that never materialize. You’re going to practice all the things you should say. Tell him to fuck off.

You grab another drink and return to the couch. The rejection is sinking in, and you’re feeling pretty low. You silence notifications from him in an attempt to take control of your thoughts. To stop waiting for it to light up with his name. You aren’t going to keep waiting for him.

You shower and change into a big T-shirt and underwear. Returning to the couch, you turn on some trash TV to shut your brain off. It helps. Keeps you distracted. When it hits 2 AM, you crawl off the couch and turn out the lights. You hope you’re tired enough to sleep without Joel haunting your thoughts.

You’re getting a glass of water to take to bed when you hear the knock at your door. Your stomach swoops and your body tenses with excitement.

You’re fucked.

You can’t stop the smile that breaks out on your face.

He’s like a stray cat. Or, more like a tomcat. You know he’s gonna sweet talk his way in. You should ignore him. You should leave him outside on your doorstep, horny and alone. Let him feel rejected this time.

You crack open the door and face Joel. He glows in the moonlight, stupid eyes sparkling when he looks at you. He leans an arm on the door frame and purrs at you.

“Baby.”

You roll your eyes. His breath smells like whiskey.

“What the fuck, Joel? Where were you?”

He frowns. Big brown eyes try to weaken your defenses.

“Work thing.”

“Til 2 AM?”

“One of the guys on the crew. Was his birthday, so we had to take him out.”

You don’t believe him. You feel the urge to slap him across his scruffy cheek. You feel the urge to pull him in and kiss him.

No. You can’t listen to that voice. The voice that still gets butterflies over him showing up at the door. He’s only here because all the bars closed, and now he��s looking to score.

He preys on your moment of weakness. You’re in a debate with your inner demons, and he barges his way into your space. He moves like a blur. You blink and his rough hand is tracing the line of your jaw.

He’s caging you in against the back of your door. He leans in closer. Hot breath fanning over your face. Your breath is still caught in your throat. You have half a mind to shove him off of you and begin your lecture, but he gives you no chance.

He presses urgent kisses and bites along your jawline and down the column of your throat. A vampire at your door. You didn’t invite him in, but he’s got his teeth sinking into your flesh anyway.

He smells like sweat, sawdust, and some over-scented men’s deodorant. Smells like a man, your lizard brain thinks.

Trapped between him and the door, the closeness is intoxicating. His body is large and powerful and radiates a frenetic energy. Like he’s buzzing with need for you. You can’t help it; you like feeling wanted like this. Desired. The way he crashes into you like a feral beast—

“Wait.” Some sense flashes into your conscience.

“Hmm?” he growls in your ear. His face is still buried against your neck while his hands grope at your body. You can feel the heat radiating off of him. His hands move to knead at your breasts through your soft, faded shirt. You fight to ignore the pleasure.

“Joel.”

“Hmm.”

“You can’t just show up in the middle of the night after bailing on me and expect to get laid.”

His hands slide under your shirt. The skin-to-skin contact makes you dizzy. He pinches and pulls at your nipples, and you fight back a moan, trying to refocus.

“Joel!” you snap at him.

“C’mon, I’m sorry, baby,” he coos into your skin.

He rocks his hips against you, and the sensation of his hard bulge in his jeans against your soft skin sends a jolt of need through your nervous system. The words you practiced earlier slip further and further from your mind.

“You can’t keep treating me like this.” You lob at him. The rest of your speech is hazy. You're grasping at sentence fragments, trying to remember the points you wanted to make.

“Not gonna keep working.”

“Quit,” he replies sharply.

“What?”

One of his large hands slides up, still under your shirt, bunching it up, and wraps around your throat. He bites at your chin. Sharp teeth. He kisses your cheek. Soft lips. He nips your earlobe. You gasp. He sucks it into his hot mouth. Your eyes slam shut.

You feel like you’re at his mercy, and the cavewoman inside of you just wants him to drag you to bed.

“Quit arguing,” he grumbles. His deep voice in your ear sends a rush of arousal down your spine.

“It’s not fair,” you protest.

He shifts. His hands travel downward to squeeze at the plush skin of your ass. He tugs you forward and shoves his knee between your legs. You lose any train of thought. Cruel man. You don’t care anymore. You’ll let him keep tearing pieces out of your heart. As long as you can keep using each other's bodies.

The pressure and friction of his thigh against your tingling pussy is the ultimate betrayal. You can’t stop the whiny gasps that come out of your mouth at the contact.

He lets out a satisfied chuckle at that. Cocky bastard.

“Not fair,” he repeats after you. “Hmm. Tell that to your wet cunt dripping on my leg, baby.”

Your core flutters at his words. You feel your face flush, but it’s hard to argue with him.

“I think you want me,” he continues.

You try to glare at him. Your hips don’t care, though, as they roll against him.

“S’alright, baby.”

You wish it were.

“I only want you.”

You desperately want to believe him. You shove that thought out of your mind.

He pulls your shirt off and rakes his eyes down your body. He’s menacing. His broad shoulders and tense muscles loom over you. He’s fully clothed while you’re bare except for your wet panties clinging to your folds.

Your chest heaves as you watch him. He has a carnivorous gaze. You’re prey with your soft body exposed; he’s a hungry predator waiting to make a lethal move.

But he doesn’t strike.

He moves painfully slowly. Tracing a finger down over your lips, down your chest, and belly, to the hem of your underwear. He slips the tip of his finger underneath and skates it across your skin from left to right.

“Fuck,” you breathe, tense and twitching at the sensations. It’s too delicate. His expression looks like he wants to eat you whole, but his movement is restrained.

“Know you do.” his voice washes over you, and a slight hum echoes in your throat.

“You want me.” he husks.

He pushes you back off his thigh. His hand dives further into your panties, and he drags his fingers through the pool of your arousal and spreads it through your folds. A smile breaks out on his face.

“Yes,” you exhale as your body shudders.

A look flashes across his features, and his eyes darken with lust. You peer down to watch his hand disappear in your underwear.

“Say it.” He demands.

“What?” Your eyes flick up to his.

“Say it.” He repeats firmly.

You writhe a little as he continues to toy with you. He’s wicked. Tracing circles around your clit, but not long enough to build a satisfying rhythm before he dips down and fills you with two fingers. He moves them lazily for his own enjoyment.

You groan in frustration. It’s a tempting sound to his ears, but he doesn’t look amused. He’s waiting to hear it.

“I want you?” you guess what he’s waiting for you to say.

There's no use lying about it if that’s what he wants to hear. You want him. Even if you’ve been ruminating over his shitty behavior all night.

“You askin’ or tellin’?”

“Want you,” you repeat as a statement.

He pulls his hand away completely. Your body jerks, chasing his touch.

“Please,” you try.

“Again.” he’s gruff. Ferocious as he demands you confess your desire.

You sigh. Maybe for giving up so quickly or maybe because you always knew you would.

“I want you.”

He doesn’t relax. Or move.

“Again.” He repeats like he’s a malfunctioning robot.

“I want you, Joel.”

“Again.”

“Please, Joel, I want you.”

The hint of a smirk appears on his face.

He taps your chin, encouraging you to part your lips. He slides his wet fingers in your mouth, along your tongue, and then removes them. He holds your open mouth, fingers around your jaw, and looks as if he’s assessing the quality of your tongue.

“Prove it.” He commands.

His tone does something to your brain.

Tomorrow, you might be confused at how he blew you off, but you ended up on your knees blowing him. But right now, you’re chasing a desperate need.

He steps back to give you space. You drop to your knees as he undoes his belt. Your eager hands work his jeans and boxers down far enough to expose his leaking cock.

If you looked, you might’ve caught his condescending smirk, now fully exposed.

You don’t look. You don’t wait for further instructions. You lap at his tip and tease with your tongue. You start working him into your mouth.

The weight of his cock on your tongue causes you to moan. The vibrations cause him to moan right back.

His arm shoots out to the door behind you for support. His head hangs, watching you move.

“Fuck,” he groans at the sight of your lips wrapped around him. His clipped grunts and the way his core flexes encourage you. Your soft hand works in tandem with your mouth, and you’re drooling openly. You coat him in saliva. Messy. Your lips are swollen.

When he breaches your throat, you slow down to focus on your breathing and swallowing. Little gags contract around the head of his cock as you focus on relaxing.

“Fuck. Yeah, baby, show me you want it,” he rambles above you.

You keep going and take him deep until your jaw aches and your pussy throbs. Hearing him react and spew filth at you stokes the fire in your core.

“Knew your cock hungry mouth was waiting for me,” he slurs.

A flash of embarrassment courses through you at that statement.

You did wait for him. You should’ve said no. But it’s so hard when he shows up ready to go. You may be dumb for tolerating his actions, but you’re not going to turn down a man that looks like him and fucks like he does.

“Eyes up,” he orders.

You whine around him, looking up through your lashes. Obedient. With your eyes locked on each other, something passes briefly between you. Easy to miss, hard to describe. Like you could look at each other like that forever. Then it’s gone.

He slides out of your mouth. Ogling the pornographic way spit trails between his tip and your tongue. The way your lashes are wet from trying to blink away the tears of exertion.

“I did wait, Joel. Waited for you all night,” your voice comes out a little hoarse. You can’t be bothered if it sounds desperate.

“‘Course you did,” he smiles and cradles your cheek in his palm. “Get up.”

You don’t argue. He helps to pull you up, spins you around, and walks you the few steps over to your couch. He bends you over the armrest. You’re burning with need.

He takes his time pulling your panties off. The way he has you presented for him makes you impatient.

“Joel,” you whine his name in protest.

“Quit.” He slaps your ass to make his point.

You huff, but when both of his large palms spread your cheeks wider for his own enjoyment, another needy whine slips out of your throat.

He chuckles darkly at you.

“I’ll give you what you need,” he assures you before he sinks into your desperately empty hole.

You groan in unison as he fills you.

“So deep,” you murmur. He fits like he was made for you. Fills you up, so you can’t think of anything else. Can’t think of what you wanted to say or how you felt watching the time pass while you waited for him to show up earlier.

“Always,” he agrees.

He picks up a bruising pace. On edge for so long, you might go blind with the force of your building climax.

He grasps your hair at the base of your skull and pulls, further arching your back and ripping another moan from deep in your chest. The sensations are overwhelming, and your mind feels blank. The sounds of his hips slapping into you and your combined panting, grunting, and babbling turn to white noise. The consistent drive of his cock against the perfect spot inside of you has you hurtling to the edge.

“Yeah, baby, I know what you want,” he croons. Your breasts bounce with every thrust, and his other hand wraps around you to squeeze at them tightly. He remains steady and brutal with his movements. He does know what you want. And he keeps giving it to you.

“Please, yes, don’t stop,” you beg.

You wriggle one hand down to touch yourself. The pressure from your fingers around your clit brings you over the edge. You clench around him and gasp as you come.

“Yeah, that’s it. You come on this cock,” he rasps behind you as he works you through it.

You feel the release melt your muscles, causing you to slump forward.

“Oh, fuck,” he breathes, and you know he’s trying to hold on as he pulls out and pants heavily.

“Turn around for me,” he demands, stepping back. “On your knees.”

You obey and turn to kneel in front of him. He looks wrecked, his eyes half-lidded and his mouth hanging open. His fist wrapped around his cock, still glistening from your release.

It’s a debauched scene. He’s still fully dressed, only as exposed as necessary. He charges towards his climax with frantic force. You pose for him eagerly despite your boneless, damp form.

He looks so primal it makes you lightheaded. You bite your lip to stop yourself from letting a giggle out. Your face shines with a sated glow.

You tilt your head up and squeeze your tits together for him.

“Fuck, fuck,” he rasps out like it’s the only word he knows at this point. Your glossy, swollen lips pout up at him. Like, you need him to finish for you. That sends him. He comes across your chest as you release your hands, dropping your breasts with a little bounce..

He stares at you as his breathing slows. His warm spend is rapidly cooling against your skin. You still have a glowy, dreamy look on your face. Content.

“You look so good like that,” he praises you. A flush creeps up your chest and neck.

You stand up and grab your forgotten water from the coffee table. He tucks himself back into his jeans and fastens his belt.

“You gonna buy me breakfast to make up for bailing?” you float the idea with a joking tone, but there’s hope behind it.

“Sorry, baby, got a job early in the morning.”

“Right,” you snarl at him as he leans in to kiss you.

“How about dinner after?” he suggests and fishes for his keys in his pocket.

“Okay, yeah, what time?” You ask.

“Not sure when I’ll be done.” He’s not looking at you. “I’ll text you.”

He turns, slips out the door, and then he’s gone.

You’re still standing there, naked and dumbfounded, with his drying come across your tits as he drives away.

You groan and curse at yourself. He’s not going to text you tomorrow.

You should stick up for yourself. But he did say he wants only you. And the more you suffer, the more it shows you really care, right?

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starletem · 1 month ago

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𝙰 𝚂𝚒𝚖𝚙𝚕𝚎 𝙵𝚒𝚡- 𝙱𝚛𝚒𝚊𝚗 𝚡 𝚈/𝚗

𝚃𝚊𝚐𝚜/ 𝚆𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜: 𝙽𝚘𝚗𝚎, 𝙵𝚕𝚞𝚏𝚏, 𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛 𝚐𝚘𝚎𝚜 𝚋𝚢 𝚜𝚑𝚎/𝚑𝚎𝚛.

𝚂𝚞𝚖𝚖𝚊𝚛𝚢: 𝙰𝚏𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚊 𝚠𝚒𝚗𝚍𝚢 𝚍𝚊𝚢 𝚘𝚏 𝚏𝚒𝚕𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚙𝚊𝚛𝚔 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝙱𝚛𝚒𝚊𝚗 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚌𝚛𝚎𝚠, 𝚈/𝙽 𝚏𝚒𝚗𝚍𝚜 𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚏 𝚜𝚝𝚛𝚞𝚐𝚐𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚘 𝚔𝚎𝚎𝚙 𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚑𝚊𝚒𝚛 𝚒𝚗 𝚌𝚑𝚎𝚌𝚔. 𝙱𝚛𝚒𝚊𝚗 𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚙𝚜 𝚒𝚗 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚊 𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚢𝚏𝚞𝚕 𝚘𝚏𝚏𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚘 𝚑𝚎𝚕𝚙, 𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚋𝚎 𝚊 𝚜𝚒𝚖𝚙𝚕𝚎 𝚐𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚎 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚘 𝚊 𝚖𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚐𝚎𝚍 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚞𝚗𝚜𝚙𝚘𝚔𝚎𝚗 𝚝𝚎𝚗𝚜𝚒𝚘𝚗.

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

The sun shone brightly over the park, casting its warm golden glow across the bustling set. Joe cracked jokes, Sal and Murr bantered over the next challenge, and the crew rushed around with cameras and clipboards. I was battling a losing war with the wind somewhere amid the chaos.

Strands of my hair whipped relentlessly across my face, defying every attempt to tuck them behind my ears. The guys noticed my struggle—Joe nudged Sal, both grinning as I cursed under my breath and pushed another rogue strand away.

Then there was Brian.

He stood a few feet away, leaning against a table with his arms crossed, his lips curled into a knowing smirk. His eyes sparkled as they followed my futile attempts, his amusement radiating off him.

“Need some backup there, Y/N?” he called, his teasing tone flushing my cheeks.

“More like a full rescue operation,” I replied, trying to sound playful though my nerves betrayed me.

Brian’s smirk widened as he pushed off the table and strolled toward me. Every step sent my heart racing faster, especially when he stopped just close enough to make the space between us feel suddenly too small.

“Let me see what I can do,” he said, scanning the set before heading toward the crew. Moments later, he returned, triumphantly holding up a black hair tie. “Problem solved.”

“You’re kidding,” I said, half laughing, half mortified. “You’re actually going to help me tie my hair?”

“Of course,” he said, a playful edge in his voice. “Don’t tell me you don’t trust me?”

“I don’t know,” I teased, crossing my arms. “Should I?”

“You’ll see. I’ve got skills,” he said with a grin, gesturing for me to turn around.

I hesitated, the weight of the moment settling on me. Letting Brian, of all people, fix my hair felt strangely…intimate. But his smile was disarming, and a warmth in his gaze made it impossible to say no.

“Fine,” I relented, turning my back to him. “But if I look ridiculous, I’m blaming you.”

“Noted,” he replied, stepping closer.

As his fingers gathered my hair, his knuckles brushed the nape of my neck, sending a jolt of electricity through me. I tried not to react, but every touch heightened my awareness of how close he was.

“Hold still,” he murmured, his breath warm near my ear.

I huffed a soft laugh. “I am holding still. Don’t mess it up.”

“I would never,” he said smoothly. Then, with a wicked grin I couldn’t see but could feel in his tone, he added, “Though if I pull too hard, just yell out the safe word.”

I froze for half a second, my cheeks blazing.

“Excuse me?!” I managed, spinning my head slightly to look at him.

His face was pure mischief, his grin wide and unrepentant. “What? I’m just saying. It’s important to communicate.”

“Brian!” I hissed, mortified, though I couldn’t stop the laugh bubbling up.

“Hey, I’m just here to help,” he said innocently, though the devilish glint in his eyes remained. “You’re the one with your mind in the gutter.”

“Unbelievable,” I muttered, shaking my head but unable to stop smiling.

“Relax,” he said, chuckling as he carefully tied the hair tie. His fingers brushed my neck one last time, sending another spark through me before he stepped back. “There. Perfect. And no safe word needed.”

I turned around, my heart racing as I regained my composure. “You’re impossible, you know that?”

“And yet, you let me fix your hair anyway,” he said, grinning.

I reached up to touch the newly tied ponytail, laughing softly. “You’re surprisingly good at this.”

He shrugged, but his eyes stayed on mine. “You look great,” he said, his tone sincere and his gaze steady.

My breath caught. I wasn’t sure how to respond, and for a moment, neither of us spoke. The air between us felt charged, the world around us falling away.

“Hey, you two!” Joe’s voice shattered the moment, loud and obnoxious. “We are ready to shoot!”

Brian stepped back quickly, his easy grin snapping back into place. “Coming!” he called, his tone light, but the flush on his cheeks gave him away.

As we walked back toward the group, I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye. He avoided my gaze, but the small smile tugging at his lips told me he wasn’t upset about the interruption.

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

The rest of the day flew by in a blur of challenges and laughter, but the memory of Brian’s fingers in my hair lingered like a secret I wasn’t ready to share.

I caught him looking at me more than once, his eyes softening when our gazes met. Each time, I felt the same flutter in my chest, a hopeful thrill that maybe—just maybe—he thought it too.

As the sun descended below the horizon, Brian found me again, and the crew started packing up. He stood close, his hands stuffed into his hoodie pockets, his expression unreadable.

“Hey,” he said, his voice quieter than usual.

“Hey,” I replied, feeling warm in my chest.

It seemed like he wanted to say something more for a moment, but instead, he just smiled. “You did great today,” he said.

“So did you,” I said, smiling back.

As we stood there, the park bathed in the golden glow of the setting sun, I couldn’t help but wonder if this was the beginning of something more.

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

𝙰/𝙽: 𝙷𝚘𝚙𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚐𝚞𝚢'𝚜 𝚎𝚗𝚓𝚘𝚢𝚎𝚍 𝚖𝚢 𝚏𝚒𝚛𝚜𝚝 𝚒𝚖𝚊𝚐𝚒𝚗𝚎! 𝙸𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚊𝚗𝚢 𝚜𝚞𝚐𝚐𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜 𝚙𝚕𝚜 𝚕𝚎𝚝 𝚖𝚎 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠.

#brian quinn #brian quinn x reader #fanfic #impractical jokers #q x reader #x reader #james murray #joe gatto #sal vulcano

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misc-obeyme · 7 months ago

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Mer!MC Headcanons - Younger Brothers

All right, here are the rest of the brothers. I don't think I'm gonna break them up like this again, even if they are getting stupidly long lol. I like having all the bros together, I think.

Anyway, here we are with mer!MC from the human world randomly showing up in the Devildom. I quite like how these turned out, which surprised me. While I might do the side characters on my own, I am easily persuaded by a single comment/tag/ask lol.

read the older brothers here and the side characters here

GN!mer!MC x Satan, Asmodeus, Beelzebub, & Belphegor

Warnings: none

Satan

Satan wanders after a cat and ends up in the farthest reaches of the Devildom forest. He loses track of the cat, but he finds you instead. You're sitting beneath a small waterfall in a fresh water pond. The moment you catch sight of him, you duck behind the sheet of water. He keeps his distance at first, not wanting to frighten you. He's curious about how a merperson like yourself ended up all the way out here. The cat wanders back around, so he sits on the bank with it, petting it quietly and waiting for you to come out of hiding.

You can't resist the pull of a cute little cat sitting there, just waiting for you to pet it. You venture out, finding yourself less wary as Satan smiles at you. He lets you dry your hands on his sweater before you attempt to pet the cat, just in case it doesn't like water. It purrs happily as you scratch under its chin.

He takes the moment to ask you about yourself. When he finds out that you're from the human world, he frowns. You don't belong here in the Devildom. He knows that, but he also doesn't know how you got here or how to get you back. From that moment on, he returns regularly to the forest. The cat sticks around with you so he brings it treats and brings you books. You get hooked on them, reading every one he brings, but your favorite thing is when he reads to you. He discovers you're especially fond of pirate stories and poetry about the sea.

Satan debates with himself about whether or not he should help you find your way back to the human world. In the end, he asks you directly. And he believes you when you say you want to stay with him. It's a relief and he didn't quite realize how nervous he was about you leaving. Won't you allow him to sit here beside you every day, MC?

Asmodeus

Asmo is doing a beach side photo shoot for a swim wear company, but takes a break to walk through the waves for a moment. He's far off from the group of demons he's working with when he notices the flash of your tail in the sparkling ocean. He's mesmerized almost instantly. What beauty! He wants to get closer, so he wades out quite a ways. He's so entranced by the shimmering glimpses of you that he loses his footing and gets pulled beneath the water.

He struggles, knowing he's too far away from the others for them to have seen him go under. But then he feels arms around him as he's pulled above the surface. He gasps in heavy lungfuls of air as he feels himself being carried. He manages to rearrange himself in your arms princess style as you swim him back to shore.

Asmo takes a minute to recover himself, but then he's staring at you with wide eyes. You're halfway out of the water, the waves lapping gently against your beautiful tail. He can't stop himself from touching you - gentle fingertips across your cheeks, through your hair, and lingering on your scales. He stops thanking you only long enough to tell you how gorgeous you are.

He comes back to the beach without the photo crew and he always finds you waiting. He brings you trinkets and his heart soars when you present him with a handmade shell necklace. He wears it whenever he returns. When he finds out you're from the human world, he sighs. The humans wouldn't know how to appreciate something as beautiful as you, MC. Won't you stay here and let him admire you a little longer? Every time he comes back to see you, he's flooded with relief that you're still there, waiting for him in the glistening waves.

Beelzebub

In an attempt to shake up his usual routine, Beel adds swimming to his workout regimen. He's been doing laps in the RAD pool, but he notices that there's something unusual going on. He can't quite figure it out, but he feels like someone's watching him. Eventually, he sits on the steps that lead into the pool and just asks out loud if there's anyone there. He's surprised when you surface from the deep end. You've been hiding in the shadows of the deepest, darkest part of the pool.

Beel waits for you to come over to him on your own. You do eventually, cautiously. He finds out you're from the human world and that you have no idea how you ended up in the RAD pool. It was likely some witch's spell gone wrong. But you're here now. And he can't stop staring at you. You're beautiful and strong and even if you're a little shy at first, you open up to him soon enough.

He comes back every day, of course. And you impress him by beating him in every swimming race. He can't keep up with you and while that's to be expected considering you have a tail and all, he's still amazed. You tell him about the world you left behind, details of the human world he never knew. If he starts to look sad because he thinks you miss your home, you splash him with water. Things quickly devolve into a splash fight, both of you laughing as the water flies around you.

Eventually, Beel realizes that you can't stay in the pool forever. It's too small and he sees the way you gaze off out the windows of the gym forlornly. He brings you to the ocean, carrying you himself, placing you gently in the waves. You get to choose if you'll stay at this Devildom beach for a while or if you'll swim off into the horizon, never to be seen again. Whatever you choose, MC, he will always cherish your time together.

Belphegor

After hearing about how clear the skies are out on the ocean, Belphie rents a boat and goes sailing. When he's far out to sea, in a place where the waters are relatively calm, he stops his boat so he can look up at the sky. He's so focused on the constellations that he doesn't quite realize where he's stepping and he backs right into the railing, nearly falling into the water. He catches himself, but finds he's staring down at the dark ocean's surface. He sees the watery reflection of a few of the brightest stars, but there are two that seem too bright. As you come closer, he realizes that he is looking into two shining eyes.

Belphie backs away as you emerge from the water, resting your arms around the railings so you can see him clearly. He didn't think he would see a merperson out here. A few questions reveal that you're from the human world, uncertain of how you found yourself out here in a place of eternal night. Your tail flops up on the deck and it's like a mirror, reflecting back the brilliant pinpoints of the stars.

He sits with his legs dangling off the side of the boat and traces the constellations on your scales. He's pleased with the way you shiver at his gentle touch, the way you listen to him tell you about the constellations and their stories as if his words were keeping you alive.

He purchases his own boat and keeps it docked nearby so he can take it out into the depths to stargaze with you nearly every night. You never express a desire to return from the world you left and he never brings it up. He wants you to stay here with him. He can't stop thinking about the stars that are your eyes, MC. He dreams about them when he sleeps. You've embedded yourself into his heart, like you've made your home there in the Devildom sea.

older brothers | side characters | masterlist | Thank you for reading!

#obey me #obey me nightbringer #obey me headcanons #obey me imagines #obey me fanfic #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me satan x reader #obey me asmodeus x reader #obey me beelzebub x reader #obey me belphegor x reader #obey me x reader #x reader #misc writes

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ofstoriesandstardust · 4 months ago

Text

can't take the home out of oklahoma - iiii. (k.c.)

a/n: dear God the behemoth of the crossover fic is finally finished. please remember to be kind in my comments, but of course i'd love to hear what everyone thought :). if you're new here, you can check out the other three parts here

summary: Two years after leaving California, Tyler hears from Jake, asking him to come to his engagement party. With an offer of putting the whole crew up in a hotel for two nights and an off-season lull, Tyler accepts. Two years after leaving California, you finally have to confront Javy.

warnings: background iceman and hangster, happy ending, alcohol, swearing, please remember we are all the villains in someone's story thank you

word count: 13.2k

“So, I was thinking-”

“Dangerous thing.” Kate mutters around a bite of waffle, prompting a fit of giggling from the two of you as Tyler narrows his eyes.

“-I was thinking, instead of heading out to Arkansas straight after the end of the season, we take a road trip.”

“Where you thinking T?” Boone asks as you pick up your coffee cup.

“San Diego, California.”

You freeze, eyes flickering over to the blonde over the rim of your coffee cup, thankful you hadn’t taken a sip of the hot liquid yet.

“What the hell, Owens?” You ask tersely, setting the mug down harder than you intend to, the brown liquid sloshing over the side.

Tyler is pointedly avoiding your look as he sighs, shoulders deflating. “Look, my brother called. He- He’s getting married.”

Your eyebrows shoot up. “To Bradley?”

He nods, confirming. “Anyways, they’re having an engagement party out at Brad’s godfather’s. Jake’s invited us, all of us. Offered to put us all up in a hotel for two nights. I was uh- thinking about going.”

“I think I’ll sit this out.” You say quietly, pushing your chair out.

“Yeah, I ain’t so sure it’s the best idea to throw her into all of that.” Dani says, Lilly nodding alongside her.

The girls had been told the story of your fiery departure from your hometown one night this past season, motel beds pushed together, wine drunk and cheap pizza forgotten. You’d told Dexter a week later, while you remarked on your ex-boyfriend’s love for a Louisiana crab boil, after you all had crossed into Louisiana to follow a storm.

“Jake asked specifically about you.” Tyler admits quietly.

You sigh, glancing up at the ceiling. “I don’t think the rest of them care to see me.”

“We’ll make it work, okay? I ain’t gonna let anybody come at you.” Tyler pleads and you sigh again.

You look at him for a moment but that’s all you need. It’s clear that Jake reaching out, asking him to come to this monumental event, means a great deal to him and you know as his family, it’s only right to step up to the plate for Tyler, no matter how uncomfortable it might make you.

You know Tyler would do the same for you in a heartbeat.

“Okay, T. I’ll go with you guys.”

His grin is splitting as Boone whoops, already chattering about the beach.

“I ain’t promising to be nice to them.”

Your words don’t even phase Tyler.

“Wouldn’t even dreaming of asking that of you, kid.”

The blue water sparkles as you peer out the window, the golden sunlight making it shine.

“Jesus, I forget how blue it is.” You whisper to yourself as you take in downtown.

The skyscrapers peer down back at you, the boats in the bay dotted across the docks. In the distance, you can see the outlines figures of the USS Midway and the Star of India.

“How you feeling?”

You shake your head, looking back at Kate. “It’s weird, kind of. Disorientating. I remember the first time I came home from college, it’s kind of like that. It all looks the same but the world kept turning after you left. Life kept going even though you’re not there to witness it.”

She reaches out to squeeze your hand from the back of the truck. “I get what you mean.”

Tyler glances at the two of you from his position in the drivers seat. The group had elected to take the van and your car, the SUV you’d bought last winter after you’d gotten sick of sharing Kate’s own storm chasing truck.

Tyler’s red truck and Kate’s pickup had just not suited themselves to a cross country road-trip, which led you and Kate to driving most of the way. Tyler had finally corralled you into giving him the keys, under the condition you would sit passenger seat and give him directions.

“Hey T, can we stop and get food before this thing?”

Boone’s voice crackles over the radio and Tyler grabs it. You hadn’t really needed a radio of your own, but Boone and Tyler had insisted, outfitted the whole thing themselves. It sort of made you feel like a kid again, shouting across the room with your siblings in lieu of having walkie talkies while you played — everything followed with an OVER.

“I think they’re gonna feed us there Booney.”

“Tyler, I am a starved woman. You rushed us out of breakfast this morning and we’ve been up before the sun was. It’s almost three in the afternoon and California already said we’ve got a decent drive across the city to get to this place. We’re stopping.” Dani’s voices comes through and Kate lets out a laugh from her seat.

“Know any good places California?”

You light up at Boone’s question, reaching for the radio but Tyler holds it just out of reach.

“If you suggest In-N-Out one more time, I will drive this car into the ocean, so help me God.”

Niall Horan’s voice floats softly through the speakers as the car creaks to a stop in front of a familiar house.

Your stomach flips as the barbecue from a locally owned joint near your Mom’s threatens to resurface. You distantly recall telling the group you’d been friends with the owners daughter in high school in a sad attempt to drown out Boone’s loud voice saying it would never be as good as Cathy’s.

“You good California?” Javi asks and you startle, not even having realized you’d pulled yourself from the car. “You’re looking a little queasy there.”

“Nerves.” You breathe and Kate takes your hand, squeezing it.

“Thought you said they were nice.” Lilly says.

“They are.” Just not to me.

“This is quite the affair.” Dexter comments, glancing around the street as you walk up the road. “There’s hardly any spaces left.”

“Bradley’s family is big.” You blurt out. “Lots of retired pilots who are probably thrilled to see their Baby Goose get married. Lots of friends from the service too I’m guessing.”

“I wouldn’t want to be footing the bill for that wedding.” Dani whistles.

The group begins to chatter and you wince, feeling your stomach roll as you step onto the grass.

“You got this.” Kate whispers as you follow Tyler to the front porch. Tyler reaches out to press the doorbell, only to pull back at the last second.

You raise your eyebrows. You don’t think you’ve seen the Tyler Owens cower back down from anything, much less a doorbell separating him from his twin.

“You do it.” He says to you, stepping back.

“Me do it?” You ask incredulously. “You want to be kicked out before we ever step foot inside?”

“I’ll do it.” Kate volunteers. She rings the doorbell, a short buzz followed by the sound of an I got it Mom! from somewhere inside behind the closed door.

The door opens a few minutes later, revealing the now-taller daughter of Penny Benjamin. She blinks at the rag-tag crew. “Can I help you?”

“Hi. I’m Kate and this is Tyler, we’re here for-“ Kate cuts herself off under the rather impressive stare of Amelia. Kate tugs on your arm, pulling you into view. “Here, you talk to the scary teenager.”

“Hi Amelia.” You say softly.

Amelia’s face lights up at the sight of you, exclaiming your name, drawing the attention of Tom as he rounds the corner to see who was at the door. Tom appears over her shoulder, nudging the girl back inside the house.

“Tell Jake his brother’s here!” Tom calls after her before turning his attention back to your crew. “You must be Tyler and his crew. Jake mentioned that you guys would be stopping by. They’re all out in the back playing dogfight football.”

Dogfight football? Tyler mouths to you as you all step inside the foyer. You shrug at his confused look.

Long story you mouth back.

“Anyways, I’m Tom, I’m one of Brad’s godfathers. I can take you all out to the back to meet the group?”

You let your friends filter in front of you, hanging by the entrance to the kitchen and living room area.

“I’m just gonna…” You mutter, letting your friends file out the glass door after Amelia and Tom. Penny gives you an unimpressed look from where she catches sight of you at the kitchen island and you give a sheepish shrug, feeling your cheeks heat up. “Selfish self-perseveration, sue me.”

Pete glances up at you from one of the cabinets at the sound of your voice, lighting up as he does. “Well kid, I do have to say we never expected to see you again.” He holds out his arms and you grin, taking the invitation for a hug.

If there was anything you’d learned about Pete Mitchell in the two and a half years you’d spent around his pilots, was that he offered Dad hugs to anyone at any chance he got. And boy, were they some of the safest hugs you’d ever had.

“Hi Pete.” You say into his shoulder as he squeezes you.

He pulls back, studying you. His thumb ghosts over a new scar on your cheek (thanks to an ill-timed rocket from Boone) and taking in the new piercings. “You look good kid.”

“Thanks.” You breathe, unable to stop the genuine smile at earning his approval.

His hand rests on your shoulder, guiding you farther into the kitchen. “Nick and Carole are outside with Coyote’s Dad and brother getting all the fixings grilled up. Do you want anything to drink?”

You pause, stopping next to Javy’s Mom Lydia. You swallow, unsure of how she’ll react to you as you tell Pete you don’t want anything. He nods, grabbing his glass and nudging Penny towards the back patio after her daughter.

“Hi Lydia.” You say softly. She studies you for a moment before pulling you into a tight hug. You melt into her touch, knowing you had accepted you may never get it again.

You think of all the times you’d gotten the same hug from her, the innate soft care and compassion the woman had offered you, the same one she’d passed down to her son.

You pull back, smiling at Javy’s sister-in-law (it seems like James had finally put a ring on it) and the little boy she holds in her arms. “Hi Scarlet.”

The girl gives you a big grin. “How you doing?”

“I’m good.” You answer. “Yeah, I’ve been good.”

She smiles. “Good to hear.” She glances over Lydia’s shoulder. “Would you want to hold baby Jameson here for a minute while Dia and I go grab something from outside?”

Your eyes grow wide. “You want me to hold your baby?”

She shrugs. “I trusted you enough back then, I doubt I can’t trust you now.”

You swallow, nodding. “Yeah, yeah of course.” You take the boy gingerly from her arms as he grins up real big at you. The boy only has two teeth but it looks like the nub of a third is growing in. “You and James make really cute babies.”

“I know.” She says smugly, before heading outside with Lydia.

You bounce the baby in your arms gently, cooing at him softly.

“I sort of feel like I’m watching some alternate version of my future right now.” You gasp, whipping towards the sound of the voice.

Leaning up against the doorjamb is Javy.

The same Javy you’d fallen in love with all those years ago, a fond and yet pained smile on his face as he sticks his hands in his pockets.

“Self preservation doesn’t work if you’re not outside with all your friends.” You breathe out as Jameson starts making grabby hands for his uncle. Javy walks towards the boy, letting him take his finger. It quickly becomes his new favorite chew toy as he shrugs.

You snort as Javy smiles down at the kid. “Wanted to change. Scarlet knew I was in here so now I’m kinda figuring she left him here with you so we’d have to be civil.” You swallow, all humor leaving you as your eyes dart around the kitchen.

In all the years you’d been gone, the Mitchell-Kazansky house hadn’t changed all that much. Maybe there were a few more pictures on the fridge, a coupon for a new pizza place, new throw pillows on the same worn couch, but the small beach front property that was inherently them had remained the same.

“I don’t- I never expected- How are you here?” Javy asks, finally landing on words after a minute of silence and restarted attempts.

“Jake’s brother.” You say quietly. “I’ve been working with Tyler in Oklahoma.”

Javy reels back, Jameson letting go of his finger as he does. The toddler is quick to shift his attention to your hair, tugging on it. You wince. “Okay, I probably deserve this.” You mutter after a particularly hard yank from the toddler’s fist.

Javy snorts, and you think it surprises him as much as it does you as a shy, goofy smile flickers on his face. “In another life, you were probably his auntie.”

The words are meant to be light-hearted but they’re like an iron punch as the breath gets knocked clean from your lungs.

“Javy-“

“Sorry, that wasn’t funny.” He dismisses as he crosses his arms. “So- Oklahoma huh? You liking it? The countryside is the last place I expected you to end up but you, uh- you look like you’re doing well.”

You swallow around the lump that’s growing in your throat at the grief you’re having to confront earlier than you had anticipated.

“I- Yeah, I like it out there. I’m good. Happy.”

“I’m actually uh, not surprised to hear it. That you’re in Oklahoma. Just surprised at finally getting the confirmation.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, about a year ago, Fanboy had one of their streams on. He was just a casual fan, you know, background noise. The camera couldn’t have been on you for more than thirty seconds but I swore it was you. I made him go back and replay it a hundred times, I pulled up a hundred examples from other videos on the channel. The team was so convinced I was starting to lose it that Fanboy got banned from playing those streams anymore. Your hair was shorter in that first video, but I just- I knew it was you.”

You hum, thinking to yourself. You’d appeared in the background of streams and edited videos countless times, but there had only been one haircut in two years. “It must’ve been after the rocket incident.”

His eyes go wide. “The rocket incident?”

“Boone still feels bad and Ty won’t let anyone really bring it up because it makes his blood pressure rise but imagine my surprise when I’m fiddling with something on top on the truck and Boone leans over on the console and accidentally sets off a rocket.”

“That would only happen to you.”

You snort. “I know. Most of the hair on one side was singed off anyways so I took the kitchen shears we have and chopped it all off in the back of the RV after we left urgent care.”

A beat passes as he drums his fingers against the countertop. “Hey, how long are you in town for?”

“We’re supposed to leave sometime tomorrow, we’re gonna stop off in Vegas. Why?”

“I was gonna see if you wanted to stop by the house. I’ve still got, actually quite a lot of your stuff. Like keepsakes and stuff your Mom tried to get rid of. If you wanted to swing by on your way out and pick through it.”

You nod. “Yeah, I should be able to fit that in.” You reach a hand out, nudging his shoulder. “Hey, how was Bob and Sophia’s wedding?”

“The kind of classy country you can only imagine. It was so them.”

“Did you cry?” You tease and he ducks his head.

“Maybe shed a tear or two.”

“Hey, how’s your Mom?” You ask softly.

You remember all too well Javy getting that phone call.

Four days before you were meant to defend your Masters thesis, Javy had gotten a call from his Mom, telling him that she had been diagnosed with DCIS — breast cancer.

It had been non-invasive, thankfully, and after a quickly scheduled surgery, Lydia had expected to have a full recovery.

Still — it had been a terrifying few weeks for Javy and you’d written out and deleted a hundred text messages to him on each anniversary of the diagnosis.

“She’s good.” He says softly. “Still no signs of a return. Thanks for asking.”

You nod. “I think about her a lot. And you, you know. How you all are doing. If she’s healthy, if you’re safe.”

His eyes shine with a feeling you can’t quite name, but can describe only as a response to hearing words he never thought he’d hear but mean more to him then he’ll ever admit.

“I think about you too. If you’re happy, if you’re happier than you were with me. If you found what it was you had been searching for.” He shakes his head, clearing your throat. “Grieving someone who was still alive-“ He lets out a low whistle.

“I’m sorry.” You whisper. You know he hears you but he doesn’t say anything, letting the two of you exist in silence as baby Jameson babbles nonsensically.

“I can’t help but ask — you dating anyone?”

The questions feels so stilted as you swallow. You knew he was trying to play at some cool nonchalance but he missed by a mile; it was obvious your answer meant a great deal to him. “I am.” He raises his eyebrows, clearly waiting for more information. “I have a girlfriend.”

“What’s this girlfriend’s name?”

You shake your head. “Don’t think it’s appropriate to bring her into this.”

He sighs, letting his weight rest against the kitchen island. “I guess that’s fair. You were always more mature than me about stuff.”

The two of you sit in an awkward silence for a few minutes, the hollers of his friends from the back patio coming closer. You have a hundred questions for him and he probably has a thousand more for you but you both know you can’t ask them in this moment. His team must have come up off the beach and would probably be headed inside soon. His eyes flicker towards the back door, probably making the same assumptions as you.

“Hey, do- do you think we could talk sometime tonight?” Your eyes flicker over to him, seeing the pain in them so clear. It feels unnatural to not reach out and smooth out the lines in between his eyebrows. “Now’s not the time but I- uh-“ He cuts himself off, shaking his head.

You nod. “Yeah, we can. Just- later, okay?”

You owed him closure. After the way you’d left, with the way you’d burned him, you owed him that at the very least.

Kate would understand.

The backdoor slides open, the pilots shuffling in. Behind them, you can see the Wranglers, save for Kate and Tyler, take hesitant seats on the couches. It looks like Dexter’s still outside.

“Holy shit!” Omaha yells, sliding his sunglasses up. The pilots turn, a bunch of oohs being tossed up.

“Does anybody else get the weird feeling we walked into some weird alternate timeline where her and Coyote got married and had kids?” Payback asks and Javy lets out a low groan.

“Aliens.” Fanboy breathes out and his pilot tosses him a strange look.

“It’s like seeing a ghost.” Natasha comments.

“Yeah, a really bitchy ghost.” Omaha adds and you turn sharply, plopping the toddler into his uncle’s arms.

“Would you look at that, some things really do never change. I still really hate your friends.”

“Can I have a hug?” Jake blurts out, silencing his friends.

You raise an eyebrow as you give him a once-over. “Um, I guess. If you put a shirt on first.”

Mickey hits his pilot as Jake disappears around the corner. “My alien theory isn’t so weird now, is it?”

Payback winces, rubbing his stomach where Mickey had smacked him. “Nice to see you too Mickey.” You say, rounding the kitchen island.

The boy gives you a nervous smile. It’s an odd look on the boy who’d always greeted you with a wide grin, home-cooked food, and a picture of his new Lego set. It’s an odd look for the kid who’d probably been your favorite of Javy’s friends, and definitely the closest to you, so long as no one said that in front of Bradley. (Bradley Bradshaw had taken it upon himself to name his role in your life as unintentional big brother). “Hey.”

Jake reappears, having tugged one of Bradley’s old Top Gun shirts over his head. “Hi.” He says softly, stopping in front of you. “Can I have a hug now?”

You sigh. “Fine, I guess.”

You’re not sure what you’re expecting from Jake (a hug certainly wasn’t on the table) but his hug is tight, borderline painful as you hesitantly and awkwardly wrap your arms around his much larger and taller frame. You step back as someone clears their throat. Jake lets you go willingly as Boone reaches out for your wrist, tugging you to sit down in between him and Dani.

Jake turns, facing the person who’s just walked into the house.

“Knock knock.” She says and your head turns, catching sight of Lainey’s blond hair. Javi reaches around Boone, nudging your back, reminding you to breathe as Jake’s face lights up. “Wait, there’s two of you?”

“Lainey! Didn’t think you’d make it! Yeah, uh, this is my twin brother Tyler. We, uh don’t talk much.”

“Oh, we know.” You say under your breath, only loud enough for your friends to hear, and Boone spits out a laugh, Javi having to cough into his fist to cover up his own laughter.

Tyler snaps, eyes narrowing, turning to you. “I thought you’d agreed to being on your best behavior.”

“I didn’t say anything!” You defend, which elicits a loud laugh from Dani as Lilly throws out a “Stop being so hard on her T!”

Tyler huffs, his hands fall to his waist and you have to bite back a giggle that eventually falls out anyways when you see Kate doing the same thing.

“You’re such a Dad, T.” You say through a laugh, shaking your head which elicits laughter from the whole group.

Lainey turns as you talk, face softening. “I didn’t think any of us would ever see you again. Where you’ve been?”

“Oklahoma!” Javy shouts from across the kitchen. It sends his friends into an uproar, reeling from the fact.

“See, my aliens theory is looking more and more true!”

Kate doesn’t want to admit that her stomach drops at the sight of your ex quietly slipping out the door after you but she knows it’s warranted given the way all his friends notice.

“What’re the odds she gives Javy another chance?” Jake’s fiancé asks Jake. Jake lets out some discontented noise from the back of his throat before pushing himself off his seat on the floor and meandering into the kitchen.

“I will put money on her coming back. I’m so Team Javy, you know this.” One of the other pilots (Fanboy, her brain recalls).

“I’m team her staying in Oklahoma with her girlfriend. She’s earned that quiet life.” One of the girlfriends (Kaycee, she’s dating Phoenix, you’d run through all the possible attendees with her and Tyler in the car this morning in the quiet calm, dawn barely peaking over the horizon) pipes up with.

“Of course you’re on her side.” One of the others says. “You always liked her more than the rest of us.”

Kaycee’s eyes slide up to the man. “Well yeah, Payback, I was the one consoling at her at every group event when Hangman came down on her and made her feel unwanted. So of fucking course I don’t want her to get back together with the guy

whose friends made her feel like shit.”

“You take that too seriously, K. We were obviously just fooling around, not our fault she’s too sensitive.”

The girl’s eyes narrow at the man. “Omaha, so help me-“

“She’s not your piece of meat to fight over!” Dani finally bursts. The in-fighting stops abruptly as the attention turns to them. “I’m just saying- if she’s happy, can’t you just leave her be? She’s a person, not some object for y’all to fight about.”

The group all but forgets Dani even said anything when the one with the glasses turns back to Bradley. “You really think she’ll take Javy back?”

“A hundred percent. You remember how she used to look at him. And he was ass over teacups for her. Remember that year she bought him the Saints jersey with his last name on the back and he near lost his mind the first time she stole it to wear?”

“Dude, he wasn’t half as bad dating as he was before. Remember the first time he brought her to the Hard Deck and he insisted he buy every drink for her?” Mickey chimes in.

“I remember when they came to the house for the first time to watch a movie and Mickey kept teasing her about not doing anything on the couch, I thought Coyote was gonna drown Mick in the pool. He was so desperate to impress her and yelled at us for potentially making it so she never talked to him again.” Bob adds through a laugh. “Which she totally did, she fucking loved him from the first time they matched. Remember how his hands used to start sweating cause he got so nervous around her?”

She glances at Javi and Boone next to her, glad to see her own unease is mirrored on their faces. Lilly’s reminder from earlier resurfaces in her mind as she plays with tab on her soda can.

She loves you Kate. She wouldn’t go anywhere in the world you ain’t.

“Coyote’s always had a way with words around her. He’ll say the right thing, tell her he’ll miss her, and she’ll come back just like she was always meant to.” Phoenix comments and she swallows, looking down at her jeans.

Javi and Boone both stand up next to her, a whispered conversation happening she doesn’t care to try and hear as their exit goes unnoticed. The discomfort and unease in her stomach grows, feeling her whole world tilt at the thought that someone may say something to make you realize you’d been wrong to come to Oklahoma, wrong to love her, and that you’d go back to the place you had belonged this whole time.

She catches Tyler’s eye, a stormy look growing on his face.

I don’t like this, it says.

She didn’t either.

“See, I’d ask if you’re just taking a breather, but I know you, so you’re definitely hiding.”

Your eyes shoot up at Javy as he gently shuts the front door to the house, moving to sit down on the porch swing across from where you’re resting your weight on the porch railing.

“Yeah, well, when they start eating my food straight from my hands I think I have to bow out.”

He grins at the memory.

Just half an hour ago, you’d been trying to shove Boone off of you as he attempted to take a bite of your burger, crowded up into Lilly and Dani’s space more than they probably ever wanted you to be. Javi had leaned over, taking a huge bite of burger as it had been sitting in your hand farthest away from Boone’s reach and you’d frozen in shock when you’d seen what he’d done out of your periphery.

Dexter had tried to save face, over the sound of Dani yelling about how foul the move was, by saying that usually the lot of you were much more civilized but Tyler and Kate had immediately refuted it with a unified no, we ain’t. It had been all the encouragement you needed to plop what was left of the burger in Javi’s hand and to disappear outside.

“They seem to really like you. That one, Boone, was telling me we weren’t allowed to have you back. You’re theirs now.”

You sigh, crossing your arms. “They’re- they’re really good to me. They’re family.”

“I’ll admit that’s kind of hard to hear. Rooster and Fanboy kinda seem to be under the impression that you still might come back. Mav too. If I play my cards right.”

You let out another sigh, looking away from him. “Javy, don’t even go there. Please don’t start that with me, cause you aren’t gonna like what I have to say.”

He shifts, bending to lean on his knees as he does his best to catch your eye. “What can I say to fix this? What can I say to convince you to come home?”

“Oklahoma is my home!” You insist, feeling frustration begin to tighten in your chest.

“No the hell it isn’t. How many times did you say your heart belonged here? How many times did you say you were meant for city living by the beach? And now you’re telling me that you live on a farm in the middle of buttfuck nowhere Oklahoma and you just what, love your life? I don’t believe that. Not for a minute.”

A whimper of frustration slips out as your hands come down to scrub your face. “Javy.” You say shakily. “I am happy to have any kind of closure conversation you need to have to find peace and move on. But if this is going to be about you trying to convince me to come back to a life I don’t want anymore, then I will go back inside.” You say, mustering up a calm tone you don’t feel and he reels back as if you’ve hit him.

“I just don’t understand.” He says softly and your shoulders deflate. “I love you. You were my whole world, I wanted everything with you. I don’t understand. Help me understand.”

His voice cracks and the lump in your throat from earlier reappears. “I was- I was unhappy for a really long time Javy.”

He immediately shakes his head, cutting you off. “No, no that’s bullshit. I know that’s bullshit. C’mon, was there someone else?”

“Are you insinuating I fucking cheated on you?” You near shout, straightening up.

“Well!” He matches the raise in voice, standing up from the porch swing.

“That’s bullshit.” You say. “If I recall, I was 25, working a dead end barista job because the masters degree I went into thousands of dollars of debt for proved to be useless with a boyfriend who let his friends walk all over me! I didn’t just wake up that day and decide I was miserable Javy! It was a slow build, a build you contributed to!”

The front door opens and shuts and you spare a glance to see Boone and Javi lingering by the front door.

Later, they’ll confess to you that the only reason they’d ventured outside to interrupt the conversation is because the pilots inside had gotten so smug in their surety that Javy would convince you to leave Oklahoma to be with him, they’d started to worry about you being alone on the porch.

Javi had hastily assured you that they didn’t think you couldn’t handle yourself, but he was afraid he’d hit all your guilty spots, Boone sure he’d say all the things you’d wanted to hear back then, and you’d leave the Wranglers without so much as backwards glance. They’d wanted you to know they had your back.

They’ll admit it was selfish of them and Dani will tell them they’re stupid for not remembering how much you love your life here, and you’ll tell them that you’re not angry, that their intentions had been good.

All their presence does now in this moment though is piss your ex-boyfriend off as he throws his hands up. “Can’t even have one conversation without your little fucking guard dogs, huh? Little side pieces behind your girlfriend’s back?”

“Stop it.” You say sternly. “Stop going there. You know I was never unfaithful to you, you know that I never would’ve done that.”

“I don’t know if I ever knew you at all. Not really. So yeah, who’s to say if you aren’t a cheater if you were quietly miserable enough to dump me and run halfway across the country.”

You groan, rubbing your temples. “God, you’re not listening to me. You didn’t listen to me then, you don’t listen to me now.”

“All I ever did was fucking listen to you! You never shut up!”

Boone lets out a “Hey man!” alongside Javi’s “Whoa there.”

“Don’t talk to her like that man.” Boone says. “Have some respect, that there’s a lady and she was a lady you cared a lot about, so be nice.” Boone drawls.

Your ex fixes him with a glare that would’ve made a weaker man whimper, but Boone isn’t one to back down. He drives into tornados and shoots rockets at them for fuck’s sake.

Unintentionally or not, Boone’s intervention gives you the pause you need to take a deep breath and collect yourself. “Javy.” You start, softer this time. His eyes snap over to yours. “I understand the anger and frustration and the confusion. I know that I left rather suddenly and I never gave you any explanation as to why. But you have to know, we were fighting all the time and I was so unhappy, not just in my relationship with you, but in my job and myself. And after Texas, I snapped. It was a catalyst event that permanently altered the course of my life.”

His eyebrows furrow in confusion. “The fuck does Texas have to do with anything?”

You sigh. “You keep saying that you still love me, yeah? The problem with that Javy is that you’re in love with a version of me that doesn’t exist anymore. That girl that you loved died in Texas and she’s never coming back.”

“I still don’t understand.” You sigh, licking your lips as you glance at your friends. Javy’s voice is rising again but you know that you’ll never be able to get him to understand the truth without blowing up Jake’s spot. And truthfully, maybe it’s long past due. “We were in love, we were happy, you were my best friend. We go to Texas for Bob’s bachelor party and three days later, you’re dumping me to go hop on a plane to Oklahoma to never be seen again. That doesn’t make any fucking sense! What the hell does Texas have to do with anything?!”

You move faster than you let your brain think about it, sliding through your friends as you push open the front door, striding through the foyer. You catch Bradley’s eye as you do so and he straightens. “Where the fuck is Jake?”

Jake comes into view as he shuts the fridge, turning to face you. “What?” He asks tiredly, but judging by the look on his face, you think he already knows.

“I want you to be honest.” You say, every bit of the calm you’d tried to collect slipping through your grasp as you inch closer to Dani and Lilly. “Tell them the truth about what happened in Texas.”

“Are we really doing this?” He asks, plopping down on one of the bar stools by the kitchen island.

“You owe me, Seresin. After everything you put me through, you owe me.”

Jake sighs, scrubbing a hand down his face as Javy’s head swings wildly between the two of you.

Just when you’re about to turn and accept the villain narrative these men had decided for you, Jake sighs again. “I asked her to lie about the rodeo.” He says quietly. “We never made it to shelter.”

“So? A little wind, a little rain, that’s your excuse for going off the deep end?” Javy snaps but Jake isn’t finished.

“We watched Steven die.”

The silence that follows is one you never want to experience again as the whole room tunnels in on Jake. Lilly stands up, Dani not far behind her, nudging you towards the door and silently talking over your head to your friends but you feel rooted to your spot.

“What?” Lainey asks first, pushing her self up as she takes shaky breaths. “You- you saw him die? And you never told me?”

“Why didn’t you ever tell me that Jake?” Bradley asks quietly, a quiet concern and cool anger laced into the words.

“I don’t know. I wasn’t thinking. I don’t know if I was trying to protect her or me but I did it anyways. It’s why I gave her Tyler’s number.” He says, finally raising his eyes to meet the room. “I’m the one who gave her Tyler’s info. When she dumped Coyote that day, I knew she was a serious flight risk in more ways than one and I- I knew if I could get her to Tyler, he’d take care of her. I knew she’d be safe with Ty. And I mean obviously he did.” He says, waving a hand at his brother and Kate. “I owed it to her after all this times I said those things about y’alls sex life, all those times I made fun of her behind your back. I mean, everything I said about her age or about how you guys wouldn’t work long-term so you guys would break up-“ Jake cuts himself off, sniffing. “I was awful to her under the guise of trying to be a good friend but I was a rotten friend and a rotten person and I’m sorry.”

“What the hell is wrong with you?”

You expect it to be Javy but it’s Tyler and you think you can see his hand shake as he pulls himself off of the couch.

“Genuinely, you haven’t changed a day. You’re still that same piece of shit you were then, when you couldn’t bother showing up to our grandparents funeral, the people who raised us, because of some stupid little trophy. You’re out here a decade later making a poor girl in her twenties who was simply trying to exist with the guy she loved feel like her life isn’t worth living anymore, that she doesn’t offer anything of value to this world.”

“But, I mean- it worked out right? she’s been with you guys and she’s happier than she’s ever been in her whole life.”

“Oh, sure no, it worked out.” Javi intervenes. “If you discount the irreversible trauma and her inherent belief that she would always, eventually, force the people around her to see her as a burden, then yeah, it totally worked out.”

“Which we’re still working on undoing, by the way. Thanks for that. ” Dani comments dryly.

“Okay, hey, hold on- that’s not all on Jake.” You interrupt and Bradley’s head swings towards you.

“Are you seriously fucking defending him right now?”

“I’m defending him because that’s wrong! What Jake did didn’t do anything other than reinforce an idea I have held about myself my whole life, Bradshaw! But you don’t get that, just like you never got it back then! You had two parents who loved you unconditionally and friends and all the support in the world! I’ve never had that! I grew up with a piece of shit family, I grew up with awful friends and an even worse ex-boyfriend, and you people refused to ever understand the life I came from! Don’t pin that all on Jake!”

Lilly tugs on your arm, telling you to breathe and it’s the first time you realize you’re even crying.

In a flash, you dig the keys for one of the cars out from Lilly’s pocket, turning on your heel. Your friends call out after you but you don’t listen to them as you wipe tears from your eyes, vision blurry as you make your way towards the car.

And then someone’s there, wrestling the keys from your grasp.

It’s Javi.

“I’ll take you wherever you want to go.” He says softly. “I just- don’t want you driving right now.”

You nod, climbing into the car passenger seat. Once you’re in, Javi reaches over the console to give you a hug. It’s at an awkward angle and you can’t stop crying, but it’s warm and safe and all you need in that moment.

“You’re gonna be okay, California. We got you.”

“Where did you guys go?”

Boone asks from his spot on the couch. He’s leaned up against Lilly, feet on Dani’s lap as Dexter putters around the kitchenette in your two bedroom suite Jake had paid for.

“The beach.” Javi says, setting the keys on the entryway table.

“Where’s Ty and Kate?” You ask.

It goes eerily quiet. “Um, they had to run an errand.” Boone says after a long minute.

“I’m too tired to even unpack that.” You say, running a hand down your face. “I’m going to go shower.”

You slip inside to the bedroom you and Kate had been sharing with Dani and Lilly, walking into the bathroom. After shedding your clothes, you step into the hot water. It soothing against your skin as you bite back a yawn.

You’d told Javi to pick a beach, any beach, and the two of you had found a picnic table over looking the shore as you looked out at the moonlit waves.

It had been a quiet, grounding peace that had settled over you as you had reviewed the events of the night. Javi’s quiet voice mixed with the crashing of the waves, soothing you as he talked about Miami, and the Tornado Tamers, and the military, and a hundred different things.

Now though, in the lull of noise, save for the quiet murmurs of your friends through the wall, guilt prickles at you underneath your skin, heavy and all consuming.

It’s second nature, autopilot, climbing out of the shower and tugging on Kate’s sweatshirt, blindly pulling out a pair of sleep shorts from one of your bags. The bed that had once looked so appealing no longer looks comfortable as you have to work considerably to swallow around the rapidly growing lump in your throat.

You open the door right as Kate and Tyler return to the hotel room. Tyler gives you a grin as he waves a bag in the air. “Look where we trekked to. Surprise.”

Normally, you would’ve grinned and laughed and said I’d pay good money to see the Midwesterners in an In-N-Out but now all you can do is shrink into Kate’s sweatshirt as you get the overwhelming feeling that you don’t deserve this.

You don’t deserve Kate, you don’t deserve this team. Not this job you loved so much, not this life you’d carved out for yourself.

Kate’s face falls as she closes the distance between the two of you. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m so tired of feeling guilty.” You gasp out, a sob you hadn’t expected coming out. It leaves you scrambling for breath, coming in ragged pants. “I’m tired of feeling guilty for being happy, for having this job, for tricking all of you into thinking that I’m- that I’m worth something. I’m so tired of- of feeling guilty for leaving him and- and I’m tired of feeling guilty for living.”

Kate’s hug is tight, almost as if she lets go, you’ll slip right through her fingers. “Sweetheart.” She whispers into your shoulder as you hesitate to wrap your arms around her.

“I don’t feel like I deserve it. I don’t feel like I deserve any of it. I didn’t feel like I deserved it then and I don’t feel like I deserve it now.”

Kate lets you go, a soft look coming over her face as her hands find your face. You feel like you look worse than you ever have, tears sliding down your face, choking on your own words and sobs and snot.

“Baby…” She says, so soft and tender, in that way that’s all Kate and usually makes you blush, makes you feel more seen then you ever have in your entire life. “You’ve had one hell of a go at life, I’ll admit you got a rough set of cards. But you- you went through something traumatic and you made the only decisions you could at the time. Those people- they’re angry at you because they feel bad for their friend cause he got hurt. And maybe we’re all a villain in someone else’s life but you shouldn’t feel guilty for doing what you need to do for you.” She takes a deep breath. “You didn’t deserve to die for him any more than I deserved to die for my friends. And for the first time, I really mean that. We don’t deserve to suffer or feel pain for the rest of our lives because of it, you know? It’s okay for us to continue to live and laugh and love — our mistakes, they don’t define us. We don’t have to live there.” Kate’s eyes are pleading, begging you to hear her and understand her; to believe her.

You nod as she swipes a thumb to wipe away a tear.

“You would never blame me for what my happened to my friends. You’d never say I should suffer in pain or in a life of exile because of it. You’d tell me for what it is — that it was a freak accident and it was out of your control. You can’t spend the rest of your life in those haunted what ifs and I know you’d never want that for me either.”

“Yeah.” Your voice is gravely, raw, but you can’t even focus on it as Boone’s lanky arms wrap around your frame. “Yeah, I hear you.”

“Sides, even if it were your fault-“

“Boone!” Lilly chides, even as she wraps her own arms around you.

“I ain’t saying it is! You people, you always assume the worst outta me-“

“Get to the point!” Javi’s exhausted voice comes from the kitchen. You snort, leaning your head into Boone’s shoulder.

“Get on with it, Booney.” You whisper.

“‘M just saying, even if it were your fault, it don’t change that your part of our family now. Always gonna be, no matter where them wind or tornados take us. Or what some stupid Navy guy says about you for that matter.”

Boone squeezes you before he steps back. Lilly lets you go, albeit hesitantly and you wipe your nose on the sleeve of Kate’s sweatshirt. Javi’s hand finds your back, wrapping you into a tight hug as you turn.

“You gotta start letting yourself believe you’re worthy of good things.” He mumbles into your sweatshirt. “Trust me, I- I get it okay. It was just as rough for me when I left StormPar, but Boone’s right. We’re a family.”

You nod into Javi’s shoulder, squeezing the man before letting him go. You wipe your eyes, taking a breath. “Okay, okay, I think I’m good. Just been a hell of a night.”

Javi nods and the room breaks into quiet chatter as the bags of food get passed around, burgers getting split up among the group.

Tyler grabs your arm as you pad over to sit on the couch next to Kate. His hug is tight, the smell of cedar and campfire lingering on his flannel a far cry from the smell of jet fuel and whiskey that followed his brother.

“You saved my life T.” You say quietly, even though no one would be able to hear you through the conversation at the couch. “The Wranglers saved my life. I hope you know that.”

He squeezes you. “Nah, kid. We just loved you enough for you to see why you should stay. The saving part was all you.”

“I need to go run an errand.” The table looks up at you, pausing around mid-conversation, breakfast plates forgotten. “So you guys can head out on the road ahead of us.”

“What’re you up to?” Boone asks.

You shake your head. “There’s just something I gotta do before we head out.”

“Some unfinished business?” Javi asks.

“Something like that.”

The weather is unusually dreary, rain drizzling down on and off as you make the drive over the Coronado bridge. You park in front of the boys house, turning the key in the ignition as you turn to face Tyler and Javi in the backseat.

“I’m not sure how long this is gonna take, but I’ll be back.”

“Man, what am I supposed to do to entertain myself?” Javi moans and Kate turns, giving him a sharp glare.

Late last night, after everyone had fallen asleep, you’d admitted to Kate that you didn’t think you could leave things with him like that, that you couldn’t live with yourself if you never gave him the closure he so desperately needed.

Kate had told you, voice muffled, that she understood. That she’d stand by you in whatever conversation you wanted to have with him.

“Go take a walk for all I care. It’s a nice neighborhood.” You say, before wrenching the car door opening, cutting off Javi’s bemoaned But it’s raining! as you slam it harder behind you than you normally ever would’ve allowed it to.

You wince, already hearing Tyler scold you in your head as you stride up the expansive driveway, saying a silent thank you that Javy’s beat-up truck is sitting in the driveway.

You force yourself to take a deep breath as you knock on the door. The blue paint is peeling more than ever you note, before it swings open, revealing Mickey. He’s donned in basketball shorts and a muscle tee and must’ve just come back from a run, based on the sweat and rain accumulated on him.

He almost doesn’t seem surprised to see you.

“Hey.” He says, leaning against the door.

“Hey.” You respond. “Is Javy here?”

He nods, opening the door enough to let you inside and the oak shuts firmly behind you as you follow him through the familiar foyer to the couches in the living room.

“You guys are not much for redecorating.”

Mickey groans. “Kid, the fact that we’ve gotten anything on the walls as long as we lived in this place is a miracle in and of itself, you know that.”

Despite the situation, you snort, recalling when the boys had enlisted you to build Mickey’s desk one time two years into them living here. “Oh, I remember.”

“Coyote!” Mickey shouts up the stairs as you arrive next to the couch, nudging Jake. He gives you a soft smile, pushing himself up to give you a quick hug.

“I’m really sorry about last night. I didn’t mean to ruin it.”

Jake shakes his head. “‘S my fault. You and I both know there was probably no other outcome than that.”

The fabric of his Texas sweatshirt is soft as he squeezes you, letting you go as you hear footsteps on the stairs.

You sigh, turning catching sight of your ex turning the corner. His eyes widen slightly at the sight of you and he tugs on the edges of his Saints sweatshirt.

He’s nervous, you realize. The taste of that truth is bitter and acrid on your tongue.

“We need to talk.” You say with more stern bravado then you feel and you force yourself to soften as Mickey lets out a low whistle. “And you, uh, said you had some of my stuff.”

“We have all of your stuff.” Mickey comments into his protein shake. “It’s all in Bob’s old room.” He points with a finger over his shoulder, but you still know the way.

You head in the direction to Bob’s room, tugging on the sleeve of Javy’s hoodie as you do.

He follows you, shutting the bedroom door behind him as you scan the room. “When did Bob move out?” You ask as you pull a box out, sifting through the books.

“Like two or three months after you left. Think he had plans to move out earlier but uh-“ Javi pauses and your eyes flicker up to study him. “I think they were concerned I’d do something stupid to myself if it was too much change at once.”

You sigh, eyes fluttering shut as you squat and brace yourself against the box. “Javy.” You breathe out.

“I’m really sorry about how last night went.” He says as he leans up against one of the taller stacks of boxes. “My Mom’s pretty pissed at me for how I handled myself. I’m mad at myself too. I shouldn’t have yelled at you like that. Drinking or not, you didn’t deserve it. I was just- confused and frustrated and so hopeful it made me scared. I guess I never prepared myself for what it would be like to see you again, even though clearly-“ He says, gesturing to the room. “I always let myself keep that door open.”

“Why did you keep this shit anyways?” You ask. “You coulda let my Mom toss all this shit out.”

He shakes his head. “I couldn’t have. I- I always thought maybe you’d come home. That when you did come home, you’d roll your eyes about your Mom and want your stuff back. Fools hope I guess.”

You let yourself fall to the floor in a cross-crossed position, scrubbing a hand down your face. “Javy, I am so sorry about how I left. You deserved a lot better than that from me, after everything you did for me. But I was scared and I ran and you got caught in that.”

“Every day since then, I’ve wondered what it was about me that wasn’t enough to make you stay. Did I not love you right? Did I do something to hurt you? Did I not stop when I should’ve?” He takes a sharp breath at the thought that he might’ve pushed you too far while being intimate as being your reason for running. “Every night for two years, I’ve laid in bed at night, going over every single detail. But last night, after hearing that it was Jake’s fault, I’ve gone over every what if. What if he had listened to you? What if he hadn’t taken you? What if I hadn’t gotten drunk that night before or- or had convinced you to stay? What if you had stayed home from the trip; what if Sophia had never asked you to be a bridesmaid? What if-“

“Javy, stop.” You stay sternly, pushing yourself up off the floor. “You can’t live in those what ifs. They’ll drive you fucking crazy. You can’t keep living in the past. And it ain’t Jake’s fault, much as we would all, himself probably included, like to lay the blame on him. We can’t go back and change it and we can’t live in that history neither. What happened, happened.”

He lets out a breath. “You’re handling this better than me.”

“I’ve had two years to process it. I’ve had two years in a new town with a new job and a new partner and new friends to heal from all of it. You haven’t even had two days to grapple with the truth.” You say as you pop the lid on the box. Your eyes scan the room as you let him process the information, trying to catalogue all that he has, what you need and what you don’t.

“My Niall Horan shirt!” You exclaim, wrestling a box out of the corner of the room. “I’d been wondering what happened to this!” You pop the lid off, subsequently discovering your American Girl doll. “And Julie! I remember that year I went as her for Halloween and brought her over here. She was the highlight of the party for all the drunken idiots.”

“That was the year of the dolls.” He comments from behind you.

“Yeah, yeah, cause you guys all went as Ken dolls, except for Mickey, who went as Carlos from Big Time Rush, and I finally had to explain to you who they were after I made that joke, that they were the greatest boy band of our generation, on our second date.”

“It’s crazy to think about now, how the yahoos could all see how I felt about you and I was still insisting we were just friends.”

“Oh, enough time has passed. We can admit now that we weren’t just friends. We made out too much, in public no less, for that to be anywhere near platonic.”

He doesn’t say anything for a minute and you turn, worried you’ve gone too far. His eyes are glassy, a fond smile on his face.

“I really loved you, you know that?”

“Javy…”

He gives a half-shrug, looking down. “You can say what you want about being unhappy, about needing to leave, but I hope you know that I really loved you. I really cared about you and I really thought some day you’d come home to me. You were my best friend and I wanted to grow old with you. It just- it just feels like it didn’t mean anything to you.”

A lump grows in your throat as he wipes a few tears away from his cheeks. You look down, unsure if you should admit the truth.

“Javy, I found the ring.”

“W-what?”

“The night we got back from Texas, I accidentally found it. But it- it freaked me out. I was already walking such a fine line those days, so afraid and so mixed up from what happened, already so unhappy and I knew it was over then and there. Because I found it and pictured you getting down on one knee and tried to think of what I’d say and when I knew I’d say no, I knew I needed to end it.”

He lets out a choked sob as you work your throat around the ever-growing lump, knowing you have to finish this conversation, as much as it pains you.

“Javy, of course it meant something to me.” You say, unclenching your hand from where it’s fisted in the dark blue material of the t-shirt. You set the objects down back in the box, taking a few steps towards him. “Javy, I did love you. Really. You were my first real boyfriend, my first serious boyfriend, my first. I thought the world of you and you were my best friend too. Okay, my favorite times were when we would stay up all night laughing or- or all those times we just existed together. But both things can be true — you can have hurt me, I can have been unhappy, and we both can still have loved each other the best we could’ve at the time.” You say, taking another step towards him. “But that’s what I keep trying to tell you. That girl that I was with you, that person you fell in love with, she doesn’t exist anymore. I’m not that version of me anymore.” Javy only looks at you as he cries as you cling to the hope that this time he’ll finally listen.

“Can I have a hug?” He croaks. You nod, reaching out for him and he’s quick to tug you into his embrace, as if you might change your mind waiting a hair of a second longer.

His hug is tight, and you can feel the way his tears wet your pale yellow Oklahoma crewneck, the same way you know you’re soaking his Saints hoodie.

It’s weird, because hugging him doesn’t feel like coming home like it used to.

It’s weird, because it feels like the door on this part of your life is finally shutting behind you.

You think you’re at peace with it.

“You sure you won’t come back?” His muffled voice sounds.

“You know I can’t.” He whimpers as you shake your head. “I’d be coming back to a place that isn’t my home anymore, a life that isn’t mine. Javy, you have to let me go. If not for me, then for yourself.”

“I don’t know how.” He pleads into your shoulder.

“It takes time.” You whisper. “But one day it won’t hurt so much. I promise.”

You aren’t sure how long the two of you stand there, but finally he lets you go, stepping back as his back hits the wall, sliding down. You take that as a sign that you can get back to sorting.

“Hey, you’ve asked me a lot of questions about what’s changed since you been gone. Can I ask you questions about what you’ve been up to?” He asks, voice watery and raw.

“Seems only fair.” You say, squatting down to rifle through a box full of high school memorabilia.

“Are you dating Kate?”

You swallow, glancing at him as you pull out your yearbooks. “Yeah, I am.”

“I figured.”

“How’d you figure it out?”

“She looks at you like how I used to.” He says with a shrug as he stretches his legs out in front of him. Upon seeing your dubious look, he lets out a wet laugh. “She just- she always found a reason to be next to you last night. She always brought you into conversation, looked for you when you weren’t with her, looked for you even when you were with her. It was obvious she cared a great deal about you and I sort of guessed she was who you didn’t want to bring into this.”

You shake your head. “This isn’t her fight. She’s got my back, I know that, but this didn’t need to involve her if I could help it. It was between me and you.”

“She seems cool.” He finally comments after a minute.

“Freaky genius and all the wit to match.”

“Like you.” Your cheeks warm at the compliment as you untangle the honor cords. “She make you happy?”

“Honestly?” You say and he nods. “I see my whole life with her in a way I’ve never seen it before. She’s my best friend and my partner. I love her to death and there’s nowhere in this world I wouldn’t follow her.”

“You guys have any pets?”

“Two dogs and a cat.”

“Jesus, is this farm you live on really a zoo?”

“I think her Mom feels that way sometimes.” You say with a chuckle. “No, the team has Buttons, but he’s really Boone’s if you want to get into it. Ty’s taken on a dog I named Enid by sheer force of will from this dog. And Kate and I adopted a kitten named Peaches about this time two years ago. Ty and I are getting horses in October too.”

“So… you and Kate living together?”

You shake your head. “No. Not yet, anyways. Technically, I got a small two bedroom apartment in Tulsa I rent with the other Javi but he’s almost always somewhere in Arkansas with Boone in the off-season and I spend all my time with Kate on her farm when we aren’t out on the road.”

“They seem like really good people.”

“They’re some of the best. Hey, are you still in touch with Elle?”

Javy’s eyes widen. “Your friend from grad school? Some, why?”

“You should ask her on a date.”

“No- No, I couldn’t.”

You fix him with a look. “Why not? I bet that girl is still enamored with you.”

“She was your best friend, that would be wrong.”

You shrug, setting aside a snow globe. “We ain’t together anymore and Elle and I ain’t friends anymore. And trust me, if you and I hadn’t been what we were when Elle came into my life, Elle would’ve a hundred percent gone after you. And I wouldn’t be mad you know. You deserve to move on.”

“Not with one of your friends.”

You click your tongue. “I’m just saying…”

Kate’s drumming her fingertips on the edges of the door as the minutes tick by, the gnawing in her stomach resurfacing as the time drags on. Javi huffs for the millionth time, blowing a stray curl away from his face as a blue Bronco passes them, pulling up to park in the driveway.

Javi leans forward, peering over the center console to study the two men climbing out of the Bronco through the windshield. “Hey Ty, isn’t that your brother’s fiancé?”

Tyler looks up from his phone, glancing out his window. When he finally responds, his voice is impossibly tight, making her wince. “Kate, where exactly are we right now?”

Upon her non-answer, Tyler pulls himself from the car, a colorful swear leaving his mouth as Javi follows right behind him. She scrambles out of her door, tugging on the two men’s arms. “Stop it.” She pleads, causing them both to turn. “Look, I don’t like it either but I gotta respect the fact that she wants closure. I’d do anything to have that, you know that.”

Tyler yanks his arm back, striding across the lawn towards the two men as they let themselves in the house. Bradley’s eyes are wide as he catches sight of Tyler, shouting into the house.

She groans when Tyler shoulders past Bradley and Pete, Javi still hot on his heels. “I am so sorry about them.” She apologizes to the two men as they shut the front door.

“Tyler.” Jake growls, yanking on his brother’s arm. “I will sit on your head like I did when we were kids.”

“I am not gonna let you do this to her again. For two years, my team has been putting that girl back together, putting together pieces of her you broke.” Tyler snaps, poking his finger into Jake’s chest.

“Yeah? And he’s waited two years for this conversation, to finally get closure. They need this. And if you interrupt it, so help me God.” Jake says as he pushes his brother towards the couch. Jake takes the hint, sitting as Javi hesitantly follows suit. After a few moments of awkward silence, Kate clears her throat, catching Tyler’s eye. She jerks her head to his brother and he shakes his head. She does it again, causing Pete to glance up at her.

“Are you okay, kid?”

“Tyler.” She crosses her arms. “You know she doesn’t want you to leave it like this.”

Jake’s eyes flicker up at her, giving her an eery sense of deja vu. It had been a strange adjustment, seeing a carbon copy of a person they all knew and loved, but yet acted so different. Whereas Tyler was rough around the edges, thick cowboy country accent and swear words that would make milk curdle and friends with everyone, ever the life of the party, Jake had kept a lot to himself the night before. He held himself together, never in anyway that would indicate cracks in his well-maintained image. She saw him let loose a few times with his friends, eager to hear about your and Tyler’s lives, and always polite to the Wranglers but there was a certain detachment from it all that Tyler lacked.

“Tyler, I am sorry.” Tyler grunts, crossing his arms. Jake sighs before trying again. “For all of it. Genuinely. I know you’re thinking I’m real selfish right about now and I’m thinking it too. I’m sure she didn’t let up to the worst of it and I’m really sorry about all of it. But I didn’t call you for some sick or twisted reason of hurting her. I called you here because you’re my brother and I want you here. I want you to see this life that I’ve built for myself, cause I’m finally happy, and I- I want to share it with you.”

“Oh, you mean the life you were too busy building to come to our grandparents funeral? Some life.” Tyler scoffs.

Jake’s shoulders fall. “Ty, I’m sorry.” He whispers. “You’re my brother, you were my best friend, and there hasn’t been a day that goes by that I don’t regret stepping up when it mattered. No stupid trophy or promotion was ever worth losing you.”

Tyler swallows, letting out a deep breath but doesn’t say anything further and Jake clearly accepts that that’s all he’s going to get out of him. He turns to Kate. “Is she happy? With you?”

“Yes.” Javi blurts out. “So happy.”

She peers down at her friend, who has a rapidly growing sheepish grin on his scarlet face. “The way you say that makes it sound like we aren’t happy.”

“Just have to make the point.”

She gives an exaggerated roll of her eyes. “You’re ridiculous.” She turns back to Jake and Bradley. “Yeah, yeah she really is happy.”

“Does this mean I can go back to watching the Wranglers streams now or am I gonna get yelled at again? Cause now that you think about it, we all kinda gaslit Coyote.” Fanboy calls from across the kitchen. Tyler turns, giving the boy a curious look.

“What?”

“Mickey used to watch your guys streams until I started appearing in them.” You comment, appearing next to Kate. She jumps a little, taking you in. Your face has the remnants of tears, voice raw, but there’s a lack of weight in your body she’s been seeing you carry ever since she’s known you. You wrap your arms around one of Kate’s leaning your head on your shoulder after setting a plastic tub on the ground. “They all convinced him,” You say, jerking your head towards your ex. “That he was losing his mind. Also, how come my errands never get to just be my errands? What part of stay in the car until I got back did we not understand?”

“I tried to stop them, really I did.” Kate protests. You let out a quiet laugh, hiding your face in the back of her shirt.

“Have T and Jake made up?” You say quietly. She shakes her head and you sigh.

“Tyler-“

“No, and we’re leaving.” Tyler says, cutting you off as he pushes himself off the couch. “With the way Boone drives they’re probably halfway to Vegas by now.”

“That’s physically not possible.” Kate mutters and you snort.

“Tyler, I don’t want you to leave things like this.”

“That’s not your choice.” Tyler says gruffly, stalking to the front door. Both you and Kate wince as he slams it.

“I don’t know where he thinks he’s going, I still have the keys.” You say, finally letting go of Kate. “It’s my car anyways.” You mutter under your breath before sighing. “Anyways, we should really be on the road because Boone’s probably stopped at the alien tourist stop in Bakersfield by now.”

“If Tyler complains about traffic again, can we take a group vote to leave him on the side of the road?” Javi asks as he cranes his head up at you.

“We’re not leaving Tyler on the side of the road.” Kate says with a tired sigh.

“Even if he walks to Vegas?” Javi protests earning a tired laugh from you.

“Okay Kate, will you drive?” She nods as you hand her the keys, Javi standing up from the couch. “Javi, take that.” You say, pointing to the box. “I’m going to be out in just a minute.”

You wait for the door to shut behind them before turning to Jake. “Okay Jake, you can have your real hug now.” He grins as you pull him into a hug. “Don’t worry about him. It’ll take time.”

“I’m sure with a couple hours trapped in a car with you, he’ll cave and call.” Jake says softly, forced humor in the words.

(It would take three weeks, an incessantly annoying three weeks on your part, before Ty got so frustrated with you he’d called Jake while sitting on top of his truck on the ranch in Arkansas. You’re still not sure what they talked about, what was said, but by the end of the week, Tyler walked into the house with a wedding invitation on fancy card stock Tyler teased Jake endlessly for.)

“Don’t be so hard on yourself, though.” You say, squeezing him. “Let bygones by bygones. I have.”

He hums. “Take care of yourself.”

Bradley gives you a brief hug. “I’m glad you’re happy and safe kid. That’s all I would’ve ever wanted for you.”

“Hope you weren’t too hard on Jake.”

“No more than the normal amount.”

“The normal amount is zero.”

Bradley laughs. “You’re being more fair to him than he deserves, hope you know that.”

“Something something time space therapy.”

You reach your arms out for Pete and he stands up, giving you a grin, as Bradley laughs harder. “Don’t do anything out there that I would do.”

You laugh. “No promises.” You pad over to Mickey, giving him a tight hug. “If you ever decide you get tired of the pilot life and want to become a storm chaser, you let me know.” Mickey laughs.

“You’ll have to unblock me first.” You cringe at the reminder and pat his back.

“Done. You take care of yourself.” He gives you a two finger salute, letting you step back.

You turn back to Javy, who’s mostly kept to himself through the whole conversation. “Come here you.” He looks surprised you’re offering him another hug, but he returns it nonetheless. “You be safe out there, you hear me.”

“Yes ma’am.” He whispers. “Don’t get sucked up into a tornado.”

“I’ll try my hardest. And uh, really do think about my Elle suggestion.”

You both linger for a minute longer before eventually he pulls away. “You sure that’s all you want to take?”

You shrug. “Yeah, I got what I need out there. Sell the rest of the stuff, make a quick buck off of me. It’s the least I can do.”

He chuckles, shaking his head. “Sounds like a deal. Uh, can I walk you to the door?” You nod and he trails behind you quietly. “So this is uh, really goodbye.”

“Seems like it.”

“I’m uh, really happy you found what you’re looking for. I can only hope I’ll find it someday.”

“You will.” You say quietly. “I’m really sorry it didn’t work out between us.”

“It’s for the better it seems.”

You nod. “Well-“ You clear your throat. “Goodbye Javy.”

The door shut behinds you with a soft thud. You sigh, padding across the wet grass as you slip in the seat next to Kate. As she pulls away from the curb, Javi asks how you’re feeling.

“It’s stupid.” You mumble. “But I keep thinking of this Taylor Swift lyric.”

“Not this again.” Tyler mutters and through the rear view mirror you can see Javi flick his ear.

“What is it?” Kate asks softly.

“It’s just this one line — what a valiant roar, what a bland goodbye. It’s just odd, I think. I did really love him at one point and I did really think maybe I’d spend the rest of my life with him, that those would be my best days. And it all just kind of ends here.” You sigh, settling back into your seat. “But- I don’t know. I’m not mad about how it all happened, I guess. It lead me here.”

Tyler lifts his chin, giving you a soft yet sincere smile through the rearview mirror. “And we’re happy to have you here.”

“So,” Kate starts from the balcony of your Vegas hotel room. Your friends are fast asleep inside, all piled somewhere on the beds pushed together. You’re pretty sure when you left, Boone had pushed himself in between Tyler and Javi and was snoring. “I’ve been sort of- I kind of have something I’ve been wanting to talk to you about.”

You glance at your girlfriend. “Yeah?”

She nods. “Last night, when Javi and Boone left cause of the bad feeling they got- they weren’t the only ones who felt that. It kinda made me sick, hearing them talk about you like that, and thinking about the fact that you might actually do it. That you might remember that you liked your life there better and leave Oklahoma.” She takes a sharp breath. “Leave me.”

“Kate-“

“I know I’m not really the best at- at always showing you how much you mean to me, that sometimes I get caught up in chasing the storm, in actually making it all mean something, that I forgot about how great of a thing I have. I’m trying really hard not to take it for granted, because I did once and I can’t- I can’t go through that again. To lose you would be one of the greatest losses of my life.”

“Kate, I love you. You aren’t gonna lose me, I’m not going anywhere. I only want to be with you, there isn’t any other life for me except for the one right next to you.”

She reached up, brushing away an eyelash that had fallen onto your cheek. “I think I’m sort of starting to understand that now.” She reaches out for your hand. “Listen, I‘ve sort of- sort of been keeping my eye on some places going up for sale in Sapulpa. I know my Mom doesn’t mind having us around but I think maybe it’s time we give her back her peace and quiet.”

“Kate…”

She reaches a hand up, tucking a hair behind your ear. “We can keep the barn as home base but I found this really cute place for not too bad of a price while we were driving out here. I sort of scheduled a tour with the realtor for the day after next.” She’s wearing a soft, cautious smile.

“Kate,” Your breath hitches. “Kate Carter, are you asking me to move in with you? Are you asking me to buy a house with you?”

She gives a sort of nonchalant shrug. “If that’s what you want.”

“I- Yes, of course that’s what I want!” You exclaim, belatedly realizing you may wake your friends. Well, not Boone at least, who sleeps like the dead. Your voice drops considerably. “Yes, yes I would love that.”

Kate gives you a grin, reaching out to tug on the elastic band of your pajama pants to bring you closer to her. You laugh, colliding into her. Your hands brace yourself on her shoulders as Kate smiles wider than you think you’ve ever seen her.

“I love you so much.” She whispers. “How lucky am I.”

“I hope it’s like this forever.” You say softly. “I know, there’s no guarantee and eventually, they’ll find other things. But I hope it’s always this easy, you know? Not just with us but with them too you know? They might not be the Wranglers forever but I hope they’re our family forever.” You say, turning your head to look at your friends through the glass.

You feel the outline of Kate’s smile on your cheek. “They will be. I promise. No matter where we all go, they’ll still be here. Can’t take the home out of Oklahoma, right?”

#twisters #twisters fic #kate carter #kate carter fic #kate carter x reader #kate carter x female reader #can't take the home out of oklahoma

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sinning-23 · 1 year ago

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Fishbowl (Buggy x Siren!Reader)

I hope you guysss like this one lol it’s been in the works for a minute and is one of the last in the siren/mermaid series! Also sorry for any spelling errors! This one with be a two part red and definitely some angst? Or at least I’ll try lol angst isn’t exactly my specialty!

Anyway, ENJOY!

Your nails claw at the glass, leaving scrapes and indents in their wake. After being captured by these pirates, you were transported to a large glass dome on wheels. You were panicking, the screeching from your echolocation making passerby’s of the crew cover their ears and double over.

Why you? You hadn't even been by the ship...they just pulled up to the shore of your home island firing cannons as your sisters swam for cover. You directed them, helping them escape only to be grabbed by the hair an dragged to the shore before you could make your escape.

Any mermaid knew what happened when they were captured.... fin scales used for jewelry, the rich meat of your tails used in rare dishes. The your teeth would be grinder down to pearl like where’s, drilled for necklaces. Nausea builds in the pit of your stomach. This was it.

He approached you, lifting you by your hair as your gills opens and close at the side of your neck, an unpleasant, wet sounding “gasp” filling the silence.

“What a treat. My audience is gonna love you.”

You swallow hard, native tongue sliding off with venom. He sneers at this.

“Too bad I can’t understand you sweets.” Buggy chuckles.

He’s got your arm in an uncomfortable grip as he drags you across the sand and flings you into another crewmate. I’m some kind of silent agreement the carry you across the sandy beach to the temporary tank. Your stomach turns, glittery tears falling down your cheeks.

Currently, you keep clawing, scratching, and screeching, and the glass begins to crack at this latest noise. You needed to get out. But before you can fix your voice to scream again, he enters.

"Please shut your mouth sweetheart. You're not going anywhere.” He explains with a roll of his eyes.

You speak again, and of course, he can understand but it’s something along the lines of,

“I’ll kill you when I get out of here.”

_____4 months______

You scratched a tally for each day you were there, the fishbowl now adorned with a stand and a pretty label in fancy blue ribbon and gold paint. He forced you to act in his shows, putting your gifted set of pipes “to good use”. Even though your siren song was powerful, its intended purpose seemed to fade away.

Every song you sang, the sorrow of being captured poured into your notes, making the audience ever more mournful than they already were. Your songs and performances almost always ended in tears now, Buggy’s crew opting to wear earplugs in fear they’d end their lives then and there if they heard one more melancholic tune.

Buggy, on the other hand, was beginning to grow ever impatient. The first two months of shows had gone just fine! His crew and audience were so enamored by your beauty and sound. Now it was just pitiful. But even though it pissed him off his own decisions led to failure, he couldn’t help but want your gorgeous set of pipes to himself.

Often, he’s caught himself in a daze, wondering what it feels like to have you sing him to sleep, your hands caressing his face with a smile and he pulls into a sense of security. Fat chance though…

Besides, you hadn’t even really been properly introduced since that day he surprise adopted you(kidnapped). Perhaps he should make conversation? He shakes his head at the thought, sitting in his designated chair, just watching.

Your scales flash and flicker sparkles of light in the empty tent. Maybe that’s why he captured you in the first place? You were beautiful. And his did he love seeing those pretty glittery tears roll down your cheeks when you’d first met.

A smile plays over his lips when you catch him staring, your eyes narrowing for a moment before you press against the glass, blowing bubbles at him from under the water. You say something he can’t quite hear.

In a curious haze, he stands, walking up to your fishbowl, looking at each tally you’d engraved into the glass.

“Why won’t you let me go?” You hum, the water making your voice somehow sound prettier that ever, the slight muffle making him hum.

“Because I like sad songs.” He jokes, circling your glass prison.

How typical of him, to joke in a serious situation like this, well serious to you at least. He really takes time to observe you, the way your scales seem to be some sort of opalescent chrome.

How your hair floats around your face, your gills opening and closing ever so slightly. He admires the smaller fins adorning your spine and forearms. He wonders if you’re insecure about them.

“Sing for me.”

It’s a demand, and before you can protest, he’s already back in his chair, watching, resting his head against his closed fist.

Even though you feel obligated, your voice and song feel softer now. Almost as if the small interaction with the captain had only slightly lifted your spirit.

And somehow your hymn didn’t seem so dismal.

#x reader #reader is a siren #i don't care he's hot #one piece live action #one piece #opla buggy #opla buggy x reader #buggy x reader #one piece buggy #one piece x reader #buggy the clown #op buggy #buggy the clown x reader #angst?

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changenameno · 4 months ago

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It’s been a long time… PART 2

(Complete, link to the first part, down below⬇️ )

Summary: Gus March-Phillips was gone for about four years. Leaving behind the one woman that he loves. Now that he finally has you in his arms, it’s time for a celebration, but not before some misunderstandings have to be cleared up.

Pairing: Gus March-Phillips x Fem. Reader

Warnings: cursing, jealousy, misunderstandings, false accusations, making up, oral sex (fem. receiving), rough sex, p in v

Word count: 2.8K

A/N: So here we go, second more filthy part, can be read as a standalone as well…Any mistakes are my own. Comments and reblogs are much appreciated. Thank you! enjoy❤️✨

! Neither the Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare nor the OC’s like Gus are my creation. The parts of lyrics I worked into my story aren’t mine either!

🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊

(In case you’ve missed PART 1)

PART 2

After two endless hours of catching up with his crew and then actually taking harbour, you were alone with Gus, at last. Not that you didn’t miss the other guys as well, but you really needed to get their captain alone.

So here you were in a nearby hotel. Sitting down in an armchair, as you watched Gus close the door of your shared room. His eyes racked over your shivering form, deeply nestled into the plush, dark green upholstery. You didn’t know what to expect as he slowly approached you. When he towered over you he smiled, mischief sparkling within his blue orbs.

Swiftly he pulled you up, into his arms and sat down, with you now sitting sideways on his lap. Your legs draped over the armrest and one of his arms around your back, warm hand at your side, steadying you. The other lay over your knees, pulling you even more against his chest.

“You’re cold.” It wasn’t a question, but you answered anyway, “Not anymore, I’m not.”

Feeling like he’d devour you any second now, you sat up a little straighter, because there still was something you wanted him to know.

“I…about the letters.” You noticed he tightened the grip on you, trying not to wince when his voice cut through the silence, “What about them?!”

Swallowing thickly, you quickly tried to continue without irritating him further, “I.. I’m sorry…You have to understand that…”

His facial expression grew darker at that, interrupting you before you could explain, “Yeah sure I understand. You couldn’t wait...can’t blame you though.”

His fingers dug into your flesh in a near bruising grip, making your hands fly to the one at your ribs, gently trying to loosen his hold, while asking confused, “W-What do you mean?”

At that he did loosen his fingers, but not the way you wanted him to. He more or less tossed you into the chair as he angrily jumped to his feet, thundering, “Come on at least be honest! Who is he?!”

You gaped at him, as it slowly dawned on you, what he was talking about. Gus didn’t take your bewildered silence for what it really was, so he continued, “I’ll bet he’s some washout, who can’t even be bothered to keep you by his side. Is it the barkeeper? He’s always had a thing for you, didn’t he?!”

He threw his hands in the air, clearly very furious, about to march back to the door.

That movement had you finally pull free of the spell you’d been under, stumbling to your feet.

“No, wait…” You reached him just in time, before your hand even touched his back, he whirled around, wild eyes glaring as he roared, “WHAT?!!”

It took everything in you, not to cower in front of him, surprising yourself as you screamed back, “Will you CALM DOWN!”

Gus was so taken aback by your demeanour that his mouth opened a little then closed again, like a fish out of water. It certainly had something comedic about it, weren’t it for the electric current still surrounding him.

Growling he replied, “I am CALM!”

“Sure.” You simply glared back at him, having had enough of his outburst, “Sit.” You gestured back to the armchair. Teeth on full display he pressed out, “I-don’t-want-to-sit.”

Not backing down, you crossed your arms, repeating more insistently, “Sit.” This time he searched your face then decided for whatever reason to comply, making his way back to take a seat, with one last growled, “Fine.”

Once he’d sat down, he crossed his arms as well, looking at you expectantly.

Taking another deep breath, you began, “Thank you. It’s not what you think. I -”

Gus interrupted you again, “Yeah of course it’s not. Never is.”

That had you seething, “Will you shut up! Just for a minute. Let me explain.” When he huffed but didn’t say anything else, you took it as your sign to start over.

“Alright. First things first, I-did-not-cheat-on you, damn it! I didn’t return those letters, because it hurt so fucking much!”

You saw his Sapphires widen at that, thick brows furrowing in confusion. Closing your eyes in an attempt to keep the tears at bay, you whispered, “I couldn’t write another. Every time I got my hopes up. I tried not to let my sorrow seep into the letters, but it was in vain. As soon as my pen moved across the paper, I started crying. I answered every single one of your letters, I just… I couldn’t bring myself to send them to you.”

Lifting your gaze, you caught his as you added, “Don’t you understand? There is no one. There never will be. It’ll always be YOU!”

He didn’t know what to say, he’s had it all wrong. There wasn’t another he realized. You loved him just as much as he did you. He rose up, only needing two strides to stand in front of you once more.

Gus gently took your chin in his hand, tilting your head up, so you’d be looking at him, “I’m sorry. Truly sorry. I didn’t realize how much agony I caused you. Will you forgive me, dearheart?”

Against all odds your lips curled into a soft smile, “You are such an idiot sometimes.”

“Your idiot, though,” wiggling his brows, making you laugh. “Yeah my idiot.” He pulled you in for a kiss, it didn’t last long, but conveyed his emotions perfectly.

As you pulled back a bit, you licked over your lower lip enticingly, “You know. I think I know a way you could make it up to me…” Before the sentence even registered in his mind, you were already out of his arms and sitting on the edge of the mattress, index finger beckoning him over.

He didn’t need any more of an invitation, hurriedly pulling his sweater over his head and throwing it somewhere behind him. Hairy torso on display as he went to stand between your legs. “I think you’ve got too many clothes on, for what I’ve had in mind.”

Promptly he knelt down, first taking one foot in hand, pulling the boot off and then the other. You leaned back onto your elbows, watching, as his hands coasted up your legs to the zipper of your trousers.

Pupils blown wide, he pulled it down. To help him along, you tilted your pelvis up and he began tugging your trousers down your legs and off.

Gus took in a sharp breath when he saw the red lace panties you’d purposefully put on for this very reason. “Do you like them?”

He kissed your knee, moving his lips sensually down your leg, then he slid your stockings down all the way and threw them carelessly behind him. His voice now huskier he retorted, “Do I like them?... I’ve never seen anything more alluring than you, my little siren.”

When your bell like laugh sounded, he knew he was done for. You really were his little siren.

Gus took your foot, giving your ankle another gentle kiss before putting it over his shoulder and scooting closer to your pulsing centre. To give him easy access you placed your other foot on his shoulder.

Whimpering softly as he planted a kiss on the inside of your thigh, dangerously close to where you needed him most. Gus hummed as his lips roamed over your skin until they landed directly on your little pearl still covered by your panties.

Your hips shifted unconsciously, trying to get even closer. Suddenly a loud moan ripped free when his tongue made contact with the lacy fabric of your lingerie. “M-more, please.”

As he spoke against your throbbing heat, another mewl left your lips, “Mmh so fucking needy.”

Fortunately for you, he was just as impatient as you, basically tearing your panties in half, so they’d hung off your right calf, out of the way.

His next breath was right on your dripping pussy as he grunted, “So wet. And all for me.” You could only hum in agreement, because he decided to attack right then. Gus shoved his whole face against you, making you close your legs at the overwhelming bliss building inside you and shooting up your spine.

However he was having none of it, grasping your thighs tightly, effortlessly holding them open as he continued his pleasurable onslaught.

His beard was already drenched in your juices but the slight scratchiness of it only added to the thrill of having him going down on you. The perfect mixture between rough and soft. The silky smooth movements of his tongue between your folds, pulling moan after moan from you.

Your entire body jerked in his hold, if he’d continue eating you out with such vigour you would fall off the blissful edge in mere minutes. But you wanted something different.

So you blindly reached for his head and pulled at his dark curls to get his attention. He didn’t stop, though his eyes were fixed on your face when you groaned out, “ Wait. Wait wanna, wanna cum on your cock.”

That had him wild, near snarling, “Arrgh fucking hell, you can’t say things like that. Do you know what you’re doing to me?” As innocently as possible you shook your head no. Rather hoarsely you teased, “You could show me though.”

A sinister smile pulled at his lips as he slowly got up, tell tale tent in his trousers. When he started undoing his zipper you crawled onto the middle of the bed, watching his every move. Gus stripped before you, until he stood there in all his naked glory. His thick cock bobbing in response to your whine.

He was on top of you in a flash, burring you deeper into the mattress with his added weight. Without delay you opened your legs wider to accommodate the behemoth of a man as he whispered,” Arms up.” You complied instantly, lifting your arms. Gus made quick work of your sweater and bra, disrobing you completely.

You could feel his hard rod poking against your thigh, mewling anew when his lips sucked your left nipple into his ravenous mouth, kneading the other with his hand. Bowing your back to press your chest closer to him, had him chuckling.

He slowly pulled back, having spotted his next target already. Those sultry lips of yours. So he leaned up, capturing them in another searing kiss.

Rutting into him, made him growl with need. Next thing you know, his lips are at your throat, at your shoulder and then he’s bearing his teeth biting down. Sure to leave a mark.

A soft whimper accompanies his moan, when he mindlessly grinds himself against your weeping cunt.

You needed him. Now.

As Gus was just as pent up as you, he moved your legs up, holding your ankles close to your head in an iron grip. Rasping, “Can’t hold back any longer…”

There was no further prep needed, as you were sopping wet with the unbridled desire to be finally fucked. All thoughts leaving your mind, as Gus took your ankles into one hand, so he could position his cock at your opening with the other. When his pulsing head began breaching your hole, you briefly thought it might have been a good idea to stretch you a bit more. You’d forgotten just how thick he really is down there.

But you didn’t want to stop, so you simply closed your eyes, bearing with the momentary burn as he sank deeper inside you. Despite the light sting, you wanted his cock to fill you to the brim.

He switched again, now holding your ankles with both his hands and leaning closer. That made him slide another inch in, “Fuck…fuck you’re so tight. Need you to relax, love. Else I’m gonna bust right now.”

You opened your eyes, glaring, “Easy for you to say. You don’t have a- a…” not finding the right words or any words for that matter, made you stop midsentence, preferably concentrating on your breathing.

Though Gus had a clever comeback as always, “A-a what? A huge cock entering me?” You huffed, intentionally clenching around him, making him groan instantly. “Easy. Easy. Sorry… just breathe okay?”

That you could do. His panted encouragements helped as well, relaxing your inner walls enough, so he could finally sink all the way in. “Yeah that’s it, like that, let me in.”

Balls pressed to your ass, he shifted lightly, pulling a loud moan from you as he was now pushing down onto your special spot that got you all tingly inside.

Seeing this as a signal that he could move, Gus drew his hips back before he slamed full force into you. The growl that broke forth, reverberated through your whole body. At this point you were beyond words, only high pitched mewls leaving your lips as his muscled body repeatedly slammed against yours.

Gus started fucking you even harder and faster, enjoying every spasm of your tight cavern as you were rhythmically clenching around him. You whimpered as he grunted, “Fuck already so close…”

But so were you, his fat cock manipulating your pussy in the best ways. Moving erratically in and out of you, hitting all your spots dead on. He pushed your legs even further back, holding them over your head with just one hand, as the other was now rubbing circles on your clit, you desperately cried out, “Ahhh ffff-fuck…”

As he’s grinding impossibly deeper into your cunt, harshly moving his hips, pistoning in and out, he commanded, “Yeah that’s it, love. Come for me!”

Not able to hold back for another minute, doing exactly as ordered. He didn’t stop moving, until your eyes were rolling back and then you came hard. Possibly harder than you ever had, pussy spraying around his cock. It’s his choked out name, “G-Guuus,” that did it and his own orgasm hit him with such force, he saw back spots for a few seconds. Pumping you full of his seed, before he slumped against you, though keeping most of his weight off.

Breathing heavily into your neck, you pulled him down, not minding his weight in the slightest. Slinging your arms and legs around him, content to have him this close, you placed a delicate kiss on his temple, running your fingers through his unruly curls. Just feeling his skin against yours made you sigh in content.

Before long he has you rolled around, you lying on top his hairy chest, as he was still buried deep inside you. Having a feeling that he wanted to stay that way, you whispered, “Could you pull the blanket up, I’m getting a bit chilly.”

A chuckle sounded, making you look up. A very relaxed face greeting you as he asked, “You don’t mind staying like that?”

You hummed, “Mmh. No, like being close.” His lips broke into a soft smile, as he pulled the cover over the both of you. One of his hands resting on your ass and the other behind his head, he grinned as his cock stirred anew, “You know, I can’t guarantee this won’t lead to another round.” Poking his biceps in jest, you answered, “Maybe I wouldn’t be opposed to that.”

He laughed lightly, curling both his arms around you, firmly holding you against him, murmuring, “I love you.”

Yawning you sleepily whispered back, “I’d say that too, if I were still buried inside a woman’s cunt.”

That had him laughing in earnest, shaking you a top him, as his belly moved up and down. His full on belly laugh so contagious that you joined in, giggling yourself.

Once you both calmed down enough, he gazed lovingly at you, “I seriously can’t fathom how I deserve someone as perfect as you.”

You closed your eyes, truly exhausted from the day’s emotional rollercoaster, mumbling back, “Shut up, ’m not perfect. And even if I were, you’d deserve every bit of happiness there is and…”, a yawn had ended your sentence prematurely. So he’d to probe, “And?”

“And I love you. Just as much, alright!?”

If he ever had to describe true happiness, it’d be this exact moment, as he replied, “Alright. We love each other equally.”

One last grumbled, “Yeah,” left your lips, before sleep pulled you under.

Gus knew you’d fallen asleep as your breath had evened out, though he still whispered, “You are certainly perfect to me, dearheart.”

Leaning down to gently kiss your temple, he added, “Sleep, my little siren.”

🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊

Taglist:

If you're interested in being on my taglist, please let me know! And if you want to be taken off (my taglist), feel free to tell me!❤️✨

#henry cavill #gus march phillips #x reader #ministry of ungentlemanly warfare #fanfic

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planetlongjourney · 2 months ago

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I’ve had a few dreams about Star Trek, but my absolute favourite is when I dreamt that Ds9 had an 11 SERIES spinoff. 😭

I was so confused, because “How in the world did I not know about this” and I was convinced it was fake until I watched the first 3 episodes and it was the BEST THING I HAD EVER WATCHED.

Basically the plot is that all the characters on Ds9 lose their memories, and just go (or get transported) to Earth I guess for some reason. Then, Ben Sisko (who cannot remember anything) kidnaps all of them and forces them to join his pirate ship???

And so basically they are made to start a pirate crew against their own will, but then everyone gets really into it and it just starts becoming a ragtag group of people. Quark starts a bar even though there’s only about 10 people and Odo is just really scared because he cannot remember how or why he can shapeshift and he is absolutely terrified because of it all of the time.

2nd episode, Morn is there and Quark starts talking about how Morn is probably so weak and everyone is like “wait who is that guy why is he even here” and Sisko says “he just came with the ship idk guys” so anyways Quark challenges Morn to a fight, and then morn starts speaking in the deepest, thickest Russian accent ever, says “game on” or something, and throws Quark across the ship. Nobody messes with Morn again. Nor is he ever mentioned.

3rd episode, I can’t really remember but there’s a part where the Ds9 pirate crew is running away from a bunch of other ships and I think “oh they must be getting attacked” but then the ships just start throwing them supplies??? With a massive arcade claw machine hand thingy??? While all the ships are still moving??? Then I remember at the end they somehow start a campfire and just eat s’mores (even Odo) and I’m just like wow they are such an amazing team AND THEN I WOKE UP :(

When I awoke I was so confused because the dream was so real and I couldn’t remember if the show was actually made and so I was like “damn what was it called” and I knew it was something along the lines of “sparkle rainbow team” but then I slowly came to my senses and realised no of course the show didn’t exist and I was deeply saddened and wouldn’t stop going on about how amazing it was for a week. 😔🥺

#bring pirate ds9 to life right now #Ds9 #Odo #Quark #Sisko #Morn #Morn is Russian now somehow #pirates #i had a dream #pirate ship #NOOOOO why isn’t it really real :(#wait #what do you mean no sparkle rainbow team?

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someone1348 · 3 months ago

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I told ya'll things were happening :]

I found time and motivation to write and of course I had to start off again with my current obsession ONE PIECE! I'm currently on the Skypiea arc, season 6, but don't worry this has no spoilers it's just my angels having fun!

The people in this: Ler!Luffy, Lee!Usopp

Tw: this is a tickle fic, as are all of my fics, so if you don't like it just scroll, all the love :]

Now let's get this started sha'll we!! Woohoo!

-K <3

____________~☆°♡°☆°♡°☆~______________

I like your laugh

With the amount of adventures he's been on since joining Luffy's crew, Usopp was thankful and grateful for the peace and quiet he got on the ship that day. It was short-lived, of course, with a captain like Luffy that's bound to happen, but there was no life-threatening adventure, no damaging of the ship, just the normal amount of choas.

The sniper was working on building some weapons down in the bilge, enjoying his me time as he heard the captain wonder about the ship upstairs calling his name. The faint and whiny tone of "Usopp!" Left his lips a few times as well as what sounded like him asking where he was, but Usopp ignored it. He was too focused on his creations to worry about what the captain wanted, it probably wasn't an emergency, and plus he'd never find him down here...right?

"Hehe there you are! I found you Usopp!"

Wrong. Usopp sighed "What is it Luffy I'm busy right now?" The rubber man ignored this and plopped his butt right on the floor in front of him, examining the tool and his every move with a tilt of his head.

"What are you working on?" The captain hummed as Usopp smiled with pride, his long nose upturned as he spoke.

"It's my newest invitation! I call it the explosion of the sea!"

Luffys eyes widened with sparkles in his eyes as he spoke "Woahh! That sounds so cool! What's it do!?" He reached out to touch it but got his hand smacked away "ow"

Usopp huffed "It's an explosive with sea water in it! If we face anyone again with too strong of devil fruit powers I figured I could try hitting them with one of these and make them at least a little weaker...I don't know"

Luffy's lips let out his classic giggle "That sounds amazing! Just as long as you don't accidentally hit me with it it could be cool!" He sighed "but I like fighting people at their full power though"

Usopp smiled and shook his head "You are insane"

Luffy huffed and crossed his arms "I'm not insane, maybe you're insane" he mumbled and pouted like a baby.

Usopp nodded "to join this crew I think you've gotta be just a little crazy"

Luffy laughed at that "That's funny!"

Usopp smiled "So what did you need me for anyway?"

Luffy blinked, he forgot he came down here for a reason "Oh yeah! I've been working on my impressions again wanna see them?" Now that was something the sniper was always up for!

No matter what was happening in time, no matter how scared he felt, Luffy's impressions never failed to make him laugh.

Usopp sat up straighter and nodded, putting his tools and inventions away "of course I want to see them! Do it!"

Luffy giggled before taking a deep breath and getting into position. He cleared his throat and put on his best Sanji face, pretending to hold a cigarette with his fingers "Hey I'm Sanji...Okay which one of you took the meat"

Usopp tried to hold it in

"Wait your turn Luffy its ladies first"

He lost it

"Hahahaha! That's too good!"

Luffy smiled and broke character "Okay okay next one!" He got himself prepared again. Soon enough he let out the loudest fake snore possible. Usopp was holding his stomach he was laughing so much.

"Hahaha! You're killing me here was that supposed to be Zoro?!"

Luffy pretended to wake up "Huh? What's happening? Where's the booze, I need a drink-"

"PFFt- HAhaha!" He was wiping tears from his eyes.

"I like your laugh Usopp! It's been awhile since I heard it" time seemed to stop for a minute for Usopp.

His laughter slowed down as he hummed "Wh-What? My laugh?"

Luffy nodded "Mhm, you have a nice laugh!"

Usopp blinked in surprise "...Hm! Thanks Luffy no one's ever complimented my laugh before"

The captain nodded again "You're welcome"

Now that he was thinking about it Luffy was right, it had been a while since he had laughed. With all the choas and fear, he just never thought about it.

"You've got a point though it has been a while huh?"

Luffy nodded "That's changing right now"

Usopp nodded. "Yeah, since you made me laugh!" He smiled before he looked up to meet Luffy's mischievous smirk, who had now suddenly gotten a lot closer to him than Usopp remembered.

"Luffy..." He warned as he tried to scoot back, only leading him into a wall. Luffy just giggled mischievously as he followed his movements. Every move he made scooting back, luffy would crawl forward. Usopp was now shaking in his boots as the straw hat leader wiggled his fingers teasing in his face.

"Don't even think about it!"

Luffys smirk grew

"Too late! I thought about it!" He pounced on the poor sniper, moving his fingers under the mans classic brown overalls to tickle all over his stomach.

"HaHAhaAhaHA! LUFFY!-" He tried to push at the rubber boys' arms but got nowhere since they were trapped under his overalls. Luffy's smirk just grew at his pleas and laughter.

"What?" He acted all nonchalant like he wasn't tickling the daylights out of him. In his defense, though, he wasn't even digging, so in his eyes, that's holding back!

Usopp groaned in-between his laughter "YOu! HAhaha! Stop Tihihickling mEEE!-"

Luffy laughed with him "Hahaha! You scream like a girl!" He continued his fun as he tickled the lairs bellybutton.

"SHuHUHhut UHuhUhUP!"

Luffy grinned. "Make me!" He stuck out his tounge before moving his hands up to Usopps underarms.

"AH- NAHAHA! WAIT! NOT THEHEHEHERE!"

Luffys giggles only increased at that "Ooooo did I find your tickle spot? I think I did~" he teased in a sing-song voice as Usopp got a little red from embarrassment. He shot his arms down and curled up as much as he could.

"LUHUHUFFY! HAHAHA!-"

Luffy giggled "They're trapped now! Tickle Tickle Tickle~"

"NOHOHO! HAHAHA I CAHAHAN'T"

Luffy smirked "Aww what? Can't handle a little teasing? Does it tickle a lottt hmm?~ does it?!"

Usopp could barely get words out anymore "YOU'RE DEHEHEAD YOU HEHEAR ME!"

Luffy laughed "I'm so scared!"

"MEHEHERCY PLEHEHEASE!"

Luffy stopped but pouted anyway. "Aww, man... but I was just starting to have fun!" That's the thing with the captain though, no matter how much fun he was having, if mercy was called out, he'd always stop.

Usopp caught his breath, slowly but surely. "That...was...awful!"

Luffy smirked "Oh please we all know you had fun too! Admit it!"

Usopp smiled "Alright fine, maybe I did, but I'll still get you back for that!"

Luffy giggled "Yeah Righ-"

"DINNER TIME!!" Sanjis voice could be heard from upstairs. As Luffy got up and ran up the stairs. Usopp smirked and shook his head again.

"I better get up there too before there's none left for me!"

_________________________________________

I hope you guys liked it! Let me know what you think! If you couldn't tell already, Luffy is my favorite character ever! Chopper is a close second, Usopp is third so far, but I love all of them so much! Anyway! It felt good to write again, especially for something I love so much! So yeah, let me know and expect more One Piece stuff in the future whenever I get a chance/motivation! :]

-K :]

#k writes tk things #one piece #one piece tickle #one piece tickle fic #ler!luffy #lee!Usopp #my boys being silly!#ticklefic #sfw tickle community #sfw tickles

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cipheramnesia · 1 year ago

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Vivisection

I sloughed the shell in a flourish of our shared sweat, blood, and mucus. Cold on the steel-grated floor lift, tech eyes wide over me as my psyche twitched itself back together from the needles. My eyes said you must be new but my mouth spoke in thick puked up fluid whilst my sopping slick shuddering fingers clawed nerve pads off my tits and slid catheter from my dick. All of us nerves had little twitches of pleasure as we found ourselves whole, and made it to sitting.

"Towel," I found language, and the tech handed it, eyes carefully elsewhere at the pink and red cockpit still quivering in urgency, wet with quenched desires. Methodically cleaned under the wet warm terrycloth ministrations, top to standing, adjusting to eyes and ears 'side skin and taste. The hangar was all echoes of more experienced crew on the teardown fifty feet up and down the shell, didn't need the look I turned anyway at my love, the crab. Rested claws in bands of carbon, four squat legs and rolling condensation off the quieting spiracles. Charred, twisting armor coated over with clotted brown patch like scabs and fading blue drips of other less evils' blood, sparkling at places from shattered refractive layers, spongy intrasteel glistening through here and there. Below it discharged glutinous tar from the trap, all spent oil and shock fluid plus shells and fused filters, burned heat hexes all and all bound for the reprocess, someone else's hand-me-down armor or shoes.

The wasp staggered past us to its own home sweet safety net so I hung the rail in a gentlemanly way and bade our tech meet my goddess in crime at her door. "They have their own lift," the tech observed. My goosebumps agreed, emphasizing the questionable temperature, but a lady must pay her respects. "I don't care," I suggested so we went.

Parked up under those gangly legs adripped with the glow and silver of thirty confirmed kills and gored holes through musculoskeletal tubing told the tale, I held my arms in chivalry as the mandibles underside the shell parted ways and dripped Ari into my embrace along side her own deluge of girl-juice and veined amniogel shreds. Knees buckled as my stomach protested my lack aforethought, but no one could dispute the benefits of a girl pressed against my breasts, slinging her long arms around me. She barfed over my shoulders, warm and phlegmy.

Ari'd pulled her cords in the shell like a good girl, still shook gainst my skin as she stuttered, "fuh- fuh- fuh-" while I jerked my head at the tech who shrugged. Outta towels, well my bad. Leaned us on the railing and thought about tonight, you know the human body's pretty heavy all said? "Your... skin is... freezing!" she articulated, not a request mere observation, but my arms acquiesced nevertheless. We leaned on each other watching black muck drain from the wasp's thorax, standing around naked in a pool of shell vomit. "Yer dumb," she added, hocking up more phlegm. "Now're both shlimy." The other shells crawled in with the tide, blasted with sterilizing powder and steam, various scorpions and mosquitos and spiders seeking succor as we finally made our way down the textured rubber steps.

"Fuckin so hungry," Ari slurred, dribbling blood and saliva while my own stomach answered midst shouts of our squad as they were reborn, crawling free and bloodied from the shell, some still babbled nonsense, tried to move limbs no longer bodied and no shame to them. "You threw up so much, 'spected," I said. Watched Spinning Jenny shaking mucus off his head, snapping teeth together.

"Gonna eat three horses," Ari added. "Fuck potatoes, my dick can fuck a pile of potatoes I'm starving." She shook my shoulder, my legs wobbled in tune, "Clingy bitch." But her hand stayed, fingers digging the tense muscles in my back, mine squeezed her hips. "Casey I want you to hold me down and force feed a gallon of cheese into me." Managed to cross the whole hangar naked, didn't eat shit. Techs hooted appreciating and I tried to bow but just did a cockeyed vanity wave. Brain twitched but kept my cool, remembered I don't see in sonar. "Maybe later tonight," I murmured sotto voce. I cleaned the fresh blood from my ears with a pinky finger.

Lockers, showers, Ari always liked when I soaped and dried her, little bit of a tease, ease of limbs back into bodily limits. She was wiping gunk from her eyes, still going, "I fuck shit swear I'm getting mission reruns in my sleep now. Bullshit we don't hang on to PDN memories, I've deffo had the same shit we throw at the elves in my head at night."

"They're not elves," I said.

"Whatever, magical monster tree bugs, I dunno, are you getting shell feedback?" I was toweling her thick curls, my own short hair dried sweet quick. Threw on those almost paper scrubs. Sexy. "Babe, we all got feedback, I'm not even sure how much me is in my mind."

She grabbed my hair and gave my head a little shake, "Lucky you, I'll fuck your brains out anyway," and blew my hair out my eyes. I grabbed her hand and pushed back, she swooned, we crushed hard as team shelled and molted, in bed or in field. Just a way to anchor, comes with the piloting, nothing new. Lots of pilots fall in twos and fours of strange bedfellow - gets you back in mind after so long parted. "Shut the fuck up," she said to my smile, shoved back, I reeled her in and smiled more til she punched my shoulder. "Fuck you, feed me." We joined the aching crowd clustering to the mess hall.

Slammed our piled trays on a table, minutes later. Scatter Hawk had beat us there somehow, last in the bay, first to the hay per usual. Jelly was still in their hair and they were tearing into a pile of beef flavored protein patties they'd slathered with garlic chili sauce and pickled carrot chips. Shoved it in their blood-smeared face with mixed results twohanding a fork, missed the target 30% of the time. "Glad you're a better shot with the 40," I suggested and they replied, "Slip your own dick sideways fish brisket," spittle and snot sprayed with each word, language not quite in the altogether I guess. I slapped some nerves back into their shoulder and they grunted wetly and appreciatively.

Ari pushed me onto the bench and dropped down, catted up against me and chugged hot sauce from the tube, followed by a fistful of fake bacon and chips dripping with jalapeños. "Thid fit gess weeper effy dah" she spat out with a mouthful of half chewed food, elbowing my ribs in the process, so I slipped my hand over her thigh and gave her a reassuring stim. I was busy with whatever passed for kimchi and pork flavored protein while the table started filling up with other pilots eating an entire day's worth of food in one sitting, trying to feel and speak and touch and taste all at once with mixed successes, all of us trying to pick our nerves up from the sludge being in the shell made out of our bodies. DeeDee shoved a fork at us and said, "Fuck were you, suckin dick? Tank's supposed to keep hits off."

"Yeah, take many hits?" I wiped the dribbled of blood off my lip.

"Like ten! Two in a lung!" He jabbed a beef patty for table wobbling emphasis.

Barely audible Ari whispered, "You're alive aren't you?" Head was drooped under her curled hair near to my level, flying below table radar, still about hit direct to a nerve with DeeDee's bloodshot eyes going big and Hellis beside scooting its flat ass away but none of us got further into what manner of dicks weren't or were sucked (my carefully planned speech - about the pincer move we broke while I was still jamming longways thanks and the relationship of DeeDee's dick being vaporized vis a vis our suckage - wasted). Squad command rudely storming our table with the demand: "Death Claw! Kill Strike!"

Silence resumed in sudden shock as he stood authority thrust chinward, all our eyes tracking the table. He repeated the command, "Death Claw! Kill Strike!" Silence abounded, roamed the plains, handed him a look of weary resignation as his lips, with all the distaste of gingerly dropping a dead rat into a toilet, formed, "Kitty Candy and Raccoon Enchantment," he struggled to recover his momentum but the wind was dead, "I need to speak with you both." Tablewide "ooooo" and Spinning Jenny added "someone's in trouuuble," as we took our ways in the talking wake of the baron of bluster.

Followed breadcrumbs of wet bootie prints and bloodsmeared walls back to the old bay so he could scream at us with an echo. "You semen stains mind explaining what the fuck you were doing back in that shitshow?"

Her nose was bleeding heavily again and I could feel Ari's arm spasm as she pushed close behind me, whispering without sound. I had answers mercifully drowned in a wad of spit and phlegm suddenly dumping into my mouth and down my chin.

"Gods you're all fucking sick. Disgusting. Got nothing to show for it?"

I swallowed another gob of something unpleasantly solid which mercifully shot from my lungs into my mouth giving moments for me to think forward. Rare enough, I treasured them. Figured best not mention what was the thing, blowing the drop bolts early cuz she wanted to try and fire the primary on the wasp from directly above a banyan whilst midair, sans stabilizers, which for the record she hit the thing but caught an extra eighth mile sky above the crate.

"Listen," I gurgled, wiped off my face. ("Listen SIR," he interjected, so I waved indulgently.) "Hurgle. My decoms pinged a hostile lake, looked like a stand of banyans an' a anthill so we bailed at drop beta." Ari's fingers drug out blood from under my paper sleeve, fuck ridiculous she's like eight inches taller trying to make my ass into partial cover.

"Drop beta," he repeated the words to emphasize their unwelcome intrusion to his shriveled brain. I realized the part of my memories with this squad commander's name got sliced in the shell. His face was twitching as bad as mine ever has. "There was no drop beta! There was one site, slash and burn, the end!"

"Well lucky you! We set one up before that swampfire cut our lines up, no thanks necessary please, you know we do it for the love of our jobs."

He looked at the melted up muscle and vatsteel carapace curves of my beloved crab and wasp. Some mirror shaved surfaces, bug blood all black where it congealed. "Fuckin trannies, disgusting, undisciplined- Why we hire so many I don't even-"

"C'mon, you know we're your best guys."

"You're literally my worst guys! If I had anyone else fucked in the head enough to shove into those- those fucking meat grinder abominations, I'd dump your freakshow asses so far in the back beyond you'd fart just for the conversation!"

I elbowed Ari in the gut before she said something dumber than I had in mind. "You know the old saying, a tranny in the shell will give em all hell."

His face snapped shut like crab's load-in maw. Gritted teeth rumbled, "Scrape duty for the next two hours." He shoved us out of the way off to ruin someone else's sex lives, his own probably.

Two hours and two trays of congealed processed protein with vinegar and hot peppers, we trudged down the narrow hall to bunk. The ganglia stopped twitching but it'd been a minute last I had this much elf blood under my nails and my hair reeked of burned polyfilament lubricant.

Ari stretched her arms back because the ceiling was too low for up grumbling, "Don't wanna spec nother fuckin face for a whole shift." I shrugged half drop slept and headed my roomways, brought to heel with her hand on my wrist. "The fuck you think you're going, you promised." Her, lips, just as crusted with blood and snot as mine still a cute pout in dire times.

I gauged my cramping stomach up against that hand and those lips. We hadn't been on-mission for a sec, and fuck for the moment I'm only human and very horny. Still. "You said-"

"People, I mean people." She punched the latch and I let her reel me into her narrow cabin, coming attractions you could call it. I said, "Babe, you gotta pick up your underwear - or anything - sometime." Ari grabbed a bottle of the rancid wine someone was making from cooking oil and caramelized vinegar. She put it against my chest, and put us against the stowage wall, and put her tongue into my throat. Her lips were gunpowder nachos, burning hot, both of us careless to chapped cracked open blood. I took a slug of the wine, with its notes of artificial PTSD raspberry flavor, as she pulled the bunk from the wall. I held up the bottle, tipped it to her lips, spilled it into her mouth, on her face, down her bare flesh and cheap scrubs.

Ari yanked it away and tossed it to the refuse under her fully unused sliver of a desk. I grabbed her by the front of her scrubs, they tore, so I grabbed her arm and fumbled us against the edge of the cot, struggling with my pants and paper booties. "Fucking elastic, now it works?" Ari tried to rip the pants off, snapping a yelp and a shock outta me when she snapped the band on my stomach, so I pushed my hand into her pants and grabbed her dick, hip checked her onto her back on the cot, then furiously yanked both our pants off. We smashed tongues and lips again, her guided by my fingers in her hair, me by her nails on my back, furrows through the grime mottling my acne scarred skin. I clambered onto her, a full tangle of legs and elbows with the sweet serenade of the cot, joints protesting weight and unwelcome thrashing. But I had hold of her now, me and my little growls, her softly repeating "please," as I pressed our hips, tits, lips together. Teased and pinched on and around her nipples, scratched the welcome back real world long her ribs, pulled myself to myself with her rhythmic panting breaths. Shudders passing through from her to me, traded in kind as we reminded our bodies and each other of the dwindling human embers in our chests, the dregs of what once was bright and happy in the world still enough between us to reignite into the shape we suffered through bereft of shells. A minute for our hearts to hammer together, to take in the mossy dried blood scent, the reek of sweat and metal, both of us hard and slick against one another.

When she murmured, we gingerly squirmed our legs and arms around and across each other til Ari lay on her stomach, the pathetic, thin excuse of a mattress rolled under her chest and arms. Lube was spread over her ass and my fingers with wasteful urgency. I worked my hands slowly down her back, gently caressing her sync ports with my thumb, watching them contract and gape with her moans. The lips of them tingled and sent pulses of pleasure through my hands from lingering protonerves. Moved downward to her ass and sliped in one finger at a time, stroking inside her folds, touching her walls, three in and rhythmic spreading and relaxing as she sucked in air, so I leaned up close and slipped my tongue into her neckport, the sphincter closed tight and opened wide and I could feel my ports sympatic response, taste her tasting tasting her. She twisted her pillow into knots and I pushed my cock into her as my fingers slipped out, slowly, feeling her tense up and relax.

Slivers of amniogel squished against my cock in her ass, protonerves shot echos of her through me, flaring and then crushed between us. We pressed ourselves closer, trading pulses back and forth, that one flashing minute of her ass against my hips and one hand on her dick, my face in her hair, one hand pressing into jer back ports, letting her suck the lube from my other hand. It was almost the ecstasy of feeling our minds dissolve into one another. Then we moved again. Hours or minutes, I felt her cum trickle over my hands and wiped it on her thigh as I kept going. Mucus spilled from her contracting back sphincters and my own. Fucking the trace of vat grown life to death until we might have a hope of sleep tonight.

It was humid and reeked of sex, everything about Ari barely fit, except for me, so we stole away these moments from each other to remember and forget. It was nothing in the world, but it was better than dying alone. My leg hung off the bed when we had rolled free of one another, too filthy to breathe and too wasted to shower. My elbow and hip hurt from banging against the wall. Her legs were curled up and her left knee jabbed painfully into my thigh, I couldn't find a place to put my right arm and it was falling asleep but the tingle felt better than trying to stand up. Head was jammed into my neck, couldn't be comfortable, I brushed tangles out of her hair. Muffled, she said, "You smell bad."

"You love it. You missed my pit stank, my demure little corpseflower." She made gagging noises into my clavicle. "I'm gonna have to go back to my nice bunk where the floor is clean, can't stay under my wing forever birdie."

"Whatever," I felt her lips mashed against me with each word, and braced for her to shove me off bed, but her arm just squeezed me closer. "Can so stay f'rever," she sounded almost asleep, her head pushed closer to me and she muttered something like "glove mew bits."

Rolled eyes, but pressed a little closer. "Sure, marinate some new strain of bacteria, they can spatula us out the morning." Unprepared by her momentary snuggle, my ass hit the floor in a pile of unwashed tanktops with a sleep slurred "fuck off."

I left my dignity in the laundry and blew a kiss. "You're gonna hate you in the morning if you sleep that way," she made and grumpy noise and wrapped herself around the rolled up mattress, trying and failing to fit on the metal cot. I tripped a little on the way out the door, on my half naked way to a luxury five minute hot shower to a low bid bargain cold sleep.

Dreams told tales from the shell. Techs all swore in the slice nothing transfers. True enough we lost a short term or three but that's the balance to cost against feedback, they said. Dreams were my four legs crushing earth compact from the drop jump as my decoms rolled over the banyans and bugs slinging spells, my nightmost terrors unfolding from the PDN and flooding their foci and fetishes. In the mindscape ground ran fluid under mechanized polyplastic muscle, the world putty with my gargantuan claws. Chaff launched from deep inside my chambered shell to spark the incoming green, a deathly spray to casual sunblock rads, no mind to armored skin.

Myriad wave of banyans moving, windblown, roots crawling, but there she is, my darting wasp hurling her thousand stings, finding targets in my trackers n hackers through the grassfield bugs. Their blood glows blue, all the work of their spells to brittle silver threads that fall to pieces. She lands and I bathe the hill in freaks, veritable fog of messy tracking til her thorax slides open and erects its throbbing, winged main gun, legs planted, struts in, and a hurricane throws banyan trunks to shreds, clears a canyon of death, and she screams, and I see the branches from the earth tearing her apart, I am slow, bogged in sudden mud, green spears her, the angry earth rips her legs from limb, black ichor and green coolant and I wake up screaming as she shouts for me to go. Clutching the metal edge to my cot, seeking my body again, for a moment unable to hear or see, I exist only as pounding blood and raw nerves til each flexed muscle brings me to human.

Some time passes to rise, rollout hours more hence, I spent time to feel my body, put on shorts and t-top and try to forget the dream and Ari's voice screaming for me to leave her.

I tried to sleep the echo away, then folded my cot and dug the glass bottle of beauties. Rattled a couple hatch-down to flatten it out. Nothing doing, no washing or wiping or jerking off removed the unwelcome night haunt, so I made my soft shod way down to mess.

Rigs like these, there's never quiet. Air cycles, night crew, the odd distant clatter we all always hoped wasn't the seconds off warning of full breach. I paused by Ari's door, halfway to clacking it, but moved counterspin towards mess. No sense both of us losing sleep over one misfire of psyche. Half light in the mess, couple plotters and binders poked listless fried protein and I took my separate peace with a cup of the juice. Sick sweet chemflavor kicked caffeine to my heart and guts enough to winnow away the hours trying a dozen different flavors of artificial spice on artificial food, feeling artificially alive.

DeeDee showed in first after rollout, guy was never not angry at me over some shit, angry at something, put a lot of that through the lines good for us. Hellis always hung round, I specced on their afterhours but never pried the privates. Wouldn't have minded a bunk with either, but oh well. Shadow Jumper and Stepper and Jenny and so on filing their way through gallons of sickening juice and overcooked daybreak. Ari was last in, skulking through the rising shine and din of the mess, caught a tangle of her eyes but crowds were parting our ways.

"See how long you last without that filter, you'd hurl minimal," Jenny kept prodding at Scatter Hawk putting away more forkfulls than any two of us, just grunting back, while DeeDee yelled down the table at Stepper over horrendous and audible farts. I couldn't find a minute to catch Ari's eyes, roll em back and forth with mine, she was digging a hole through her tray.

I spent a frustrated week shipping past her nights. Some asshole I learned was apparently in charge of the squad demanding press-ups and running laps spin wise. Got mad when I said we don't use any muscles and I had to do extra sit-ups, and I threw up and didn't see Ari in the lockers. Tear down on the crab, coming and she was on her grease stained way showers, grimacing. Asleep when I catted around her doors at the odd hours. Anxiety in my spare space left my skin crawling. Ran into her at the psyche cracker and said hey, how you doin? Ari said, "Fine," with those tangled up eyes.

"You okay? I do something you wanna talk?" Whatever was left inside my skull felt like it wanted me to vomit it through my ports. My intestines wanted my skin rippled.

She shook her head. "It's not. You're good, you're good, I just." She shook her head again, tugged the hem of her shirt. Bless I was horny as fuck but just wanted to untangle her eyes, please.

"Listen, I got-"

"Casey!" The skull breaker slid its door up. Check-in time, its glassed eyes and masked mouth glittered, jovial work for a septic system.

"Ari, one second doc. Hey."

Backing down the hall, miming apologies. "I'll see you around Case."

I got a good grade from the psyche. "Very little degradation today," it exclaimed. "Your connectivity must have been quite well balanced! If you maintain this synchronization, we can expect to keep memory and autonomic function nearly optimal. Please ensure you take your supplements to maintain neural plasticity, excellent work!"

It always ignored my questions so I didn't ask anymore but one time I looked up "autonomic" and I was not very excited about the implications. Clacked Ari's door on the way back roomwards, to no result. Shut my door hard, rattled more beauties down my gullet and lay on the floor, tossed aside my psyche chart with all its healthy green and admonishing yellow. Degradation did not feel minimal, I was fragile with worry and my body wanted to fly apart, uncontained by the shell and trembling with skin crawling fear. Nothing flattened, the spin felt too fast, and I wiped confused wetness off my face. I clenched fists to my sides and shook uncontrollably. When would the drop would come?

Rolled out and rounded up came down soon enough against my liking. Marched our asses cross to the bay and posted us up. The squad leader looked uniquely miserable for each syllable of "Kitten Candy! Raccoon Enchantment!" He might actually kill me if he figures out how I changed our call signs.

Ari lurked behind me, sleep deprivation coming off her in radiant heat. I'd woke on the aching floor to rollout chimes, back still sharp from the sleep I should've skipped. She'd been doing teardown some long hours fore we got the callout. "Since you two reliably fuck up anything more complicated than bright colors and shapes, you're doing drop targeting. Three sites, think you can handle it?"

"Probably not, SIR!" I said, and he was not amused, Ari flopped hands affirmatively over the task a drone could do.

"Get synced up because that's the mission. Fuck off, the adult pilots are talking."

Could've argued, didn't, not with the halides in my skull and Ari walking away for the wasp. "Hey! Hey." Caught up around and walked with her. "Lotta radio silence, you good? I mean, girl, you look like shit, but you good?" We reached the lift. My hand was more tentative on her shoulder than my first time trying on a bra. "Are, like, are we? You know, did I say something?"

"Shit, you're fuckin impossible," Ari pulled a smile from an awful place. "Never said nothing except all I wished-" She started climbing. "Ah, fuck off, you know you're good. So good I want... like, fuck. I'm good. Had feedback something fierce this week. Hcch." I walked behind her, hand at her back and lifted, she grabbed my wrist. "C'mon, bitch, gimme a boost up."

The tech up top had the wasp open, long tongue dangling, pink, dripping ready to enfold. The mandibles were an umbrella over us, the whole cockpit slung between a sensaray and fire platform up front and the main gun taking up most of the thorax, flightless wings for short jumps and bristled with beams and missiles webbed into veins and live nerves. Ari stripped off her clothes and I helped her with the mass of thick tubes dangling from the soft flesh of the wasp's underbelly. Gentle with the catheter while she gripped my shoulder, taping the skin contacts on, then slipping the fat red sync cables and their gently writhing filaments into the sphincter along her neck and spine.

"Hey." I looked up from making stirrup hands and Ari's fingers lifted me from kneeling. "You be here when we come back, kay? I don't wanna open this cage if I don't see your ugly mug waiting."

"You fuckin wish," I said. "Believe, I'll be here, I got nothing better to do."

She had that smile, eyes almost past her tangle. "Yeah, what the fuck do I care, you're just, like. Well fuck you, anyway, you better be here, no excuses."

I put my hands together and knelt. "No excuses, bitch." She stepped into me and I hoisted her up until the closing mandibles caught her and pulled her the rest of the way in. The wasp began to breathe, the metal and polymer exoskeleton tightening as it straightened. The multiplicably enfolded legs flexed all their joints. I made my way from Ari's lift to my own, perspective and spin distorted neath my crab all encompassing the view and my world. The stairway to its cockpit was considerably longer, but no aid was needed. Sixfold mandibles waited for me, tubes lay cross the steel grate for my own administration. That same tech still couldn't look as I stripped and strapped. Didn't need help with my ports, just held crab's feelers up and they squirmed their way to the intimate fibers of my spinal cord. I sighed and my ports contracted to pull the connections deeper to the nerve.

The tech muttered, "I can't cope with the freaky shit," stepped off lively. Probably thought I couldn't hear as I wound myself into the folds of the crab's intimacy, and was encased in the dark. The peristaltic folds squeezed and swallowed me into the wet warm depths in the heavy polycombine plate armor of our turret. Impact gel, amniogel, blood and mucus flowed over my feet and hands, the added nerves and plasm more deeply fusing us. I felt my vision shriveling through a tunnel, my gritty eyes black in my skull, each muscle of my limbs unfurled from bones to thread themselves into the limbs of a colossus. My spine grew through my skin to blossom across a carapace and turret, flexed my claws and the wide flat armor wings across my back, felt the hangar through its myriad complex electrical systems and programs running in constant state of adjustment. I could smell the synapses of the crew inside the rig, all the redundant added systems, multiple layers of security, still so vulnerable inside this soft underbelly. My web crackled and fluttered along my body. I could kill everyone around me with a thought and leave only my fellow, slumbering shells for company.

I vacuumed air through my body and filters, hundreds of pounds in a breath. Piece by piece I cut my mind free of its cage, each part of it a point in a web of a thousand stars to guide my way. How had I ever let myself believe I could be human? How could I be when I was this, so much more, the parts of my mind I never before realized were incomplete. Destroy me, I urged the crab. Consume the last of my flesh and bones, and let me free once and for all. I slipped my claws out of their bands and tested link with wasp - with Ari. She vibrated enthusiasm, her stimulant chemicals were flooding overtime, and I selected the clam path of her many input and system indexes to aid her, grant her focus to the still before the burn. The dropship waited and we obliged, neither of us patient for departure and planet fall, once again to taste the alien atmosphere and feel true gravity pull at our tissue and joints.

Countdown for slow minutes, and we jammed to our sync. I felt at peace, each part of my psyche sliced from itself, and we lay distributed across our body, through small cortexes fired with the parts of my consciousness. We ticked through systems and my subconscious night terrors spooled into projectors while my self sense expanded to the decom in preparation for target tracking. Ari and I could feel one another as we synced, her slender body and long legs torquing their secondary legs into alignment. Her deepest horrors became a narrow band of foci, accompaniment to each one of her eight gun placements

We swayed for a minute as the drop slid out through the bay doors til thrusted still in a white noise of rocket and atmosphere. Open doors spilled a flurry of blinding light and boiling air. We cut the cord and took flight. Fission cycled to jets and Ari soard around my less graceful lander module decel, both flirtatious and efficient. Earthshaking on point, I breathed in the beacon for the first drop target, then pulled myself free of deeply fertile soil, felled the odd red thornbush in the way of our determinedly stealth free journey. Ari was more nimble in her travels, caught us both up fair to the prep kit. My decom swept all sides of the range for crevices of organized blue, and looked through my wavspec for tattletale knurled arms and segmented torso trunks.

"Whistle clean," I thrummed to Ari and she slipped up through to the prep barely shifting a twig. My hearts beat in time to her showy work then my pace crushed the evidence in passing. Exultation flooded my glands and fluttered my filtration, we set to the lungs of the future. My claws could lift and move enough whilst Ari's more dexterous complex digits hooked in power, nutrient starter, bacteria loads. All color coded and writ large enough couple pilots couldn't fuck it up, track records notwithstanding. Few hundred and we'd be able to turn the toxic swamp of atmosphere to nearly breathable. Plenty for firsts, let them deal with the messy genes for the twenty-threes to come later. Not us, not our yards and acres of lungs filtered enough to breathe near vacuum. Minutes confirmed the bactomix was good, and we beamed our confirmation.

"Nice and tidy," Ari observed the dirt churned circle round the target. I tasted the ground, messy but starter ready.

"Good enough. It'll be dust in a year anyway. Grab a ride?" We're supposed to march it point to point, no riders no passengers, but it's slow n tedious. She grappled to my exo instead. Put a safe-ish distance from the drop target, hunkered. Earth churned to mud and boiled around my feet as we sank down, I wrenched all I could from dirt rocks clay, sprayed hot waste out my vents, and we exploded into the air on jets carved from living thorns and earth, second drop in record time. Nothing rumbled I could spec but still. "Tastes sour," I trembled contact to contact. Ari slithered down and crouched near my shoulder.

Moments she said, "It's stilled air, might be some action crosswinds." Her wings flexed a bit and we looked for the petrichor druid chemsign. At range I could pick out just the echo of their craft, the sizzle of their spells registered a bare zero zero DV scale. "Specced it, action's noways near," I thrummed between us. "Sus, though, we're ahead of schedule, let's walk it." She affirmed, and we moved like glass, opened the target pack and specced every step.

Thorns still, sharp rocks earth clay uphill still, air still, but the maddening aquamarine fuzz of rain cluttered my sights. Ari flexed her wings on her thorax again, rocket platforms twitched nervously. "There's too much fizzing," she hissed, picking up my discomfort. Gauss guns on her sensary pointed hither and yon. "Fuck it," I thrummed, "Bact's good, bail." She mounted me from behind and we dug in the dirt, boiled and processed and locked. Branches burst up from earthbound as every spec greenlined on me, and I screamed in sickeningly fractured agony.

I could feel my exo cracking where the branches of an Atlas banyan crushed around three of my legs, pain and fluids pouring out of my body. Had to be a twin trunk, at least. Even my spiracles bled. Jagged shapes stung my left claw and numbed one of my injured legs. I could hear Ari's screeching and felt her weight shift from me to the ground. My specs were greened out in swampfire, I could taste the ozone and my own charred exo, but I was blind.

"I can't scope!" Ari's panic crackled and echoed through my body, fuled the rush of toxic stims and lit up my heat sinks bright from overclock. "I'm on it, I've got guidance," I lied, throwing a narcofilter into com. I dialed in broad spec and fired a wave of chaff, unspooled PDN for mass nightmare. Swapped high-speed into UV infra sonic organize scope range til I could line out the elves. Ari's screeches spiraled in time to hits I felt in my neuron clusters, dirt and rocks rattled from being skywards. Contermanded a second hit of stims in my system, cooled collect.

Instant recovery between the chaff and PDN. The stinging cold geometry faded its intensity on my exo. I experienced the reward of disrupted Atlas' soundscreams enduring the mortifying ordeal of being scoped. Shortburst the dial range to Ari. Caught backflow of her relief. Found the seconds we needed to move.

The Atlases were over halfway out of the soil, still partly wrapped their heavy branches over Ari and me. Quad trunks, fuck. Druid support, double fuck. The fully exposed organizing casters ways off, spec a kilo or two, but their alien decoms were holding up to the PDN. I pulled back to Ari and my pain receptors shut off the instant my legs twisted and shed broken exo like ice, steel grinding itself each movement. I checked her stat. Half a leg and one wing had been torn off. Her body was coated with slick black and green fluid, mixed with white foam. Her secondary leg was intact and functional, but I could see six bad hits from those light spears.

I cut loose a second wave of chaff, narrowed for the type-beta shieldworks from the druids, scattered an arch of green spears - I put my wings and claws out front to do their job just in time to take the secondary hit of jagged blue geometry. My back legs twisted excessively past their limit. The tri-polyplate claws held, mostly, some smoldering layers blasted free and others melted. I tight focused neural disruptors at the Atlases, cut more chaff, joyed at their screams of fear and agony. "Ari, my target." She swayed but unfolded her stabilizer struts, hit one of them with three rockets, a particle shot, and a full sec from the gauss, frosted it's decom and tore up the left half of its body. Glistening dark blue blood exploded across the other two and it laid out, alive but no threat. Heat fins spread wide open white hot underside her wings, her legs. "Casey your fuckin legs they-"

I flickered low beams at the druids, didn't connect but gave em a minute to think, redirected a broad neural disrupt at our six, more encouraging screeches, I filled the crab with the worst of my mind to saturate multiple kilometers in the PDN of my own fears and nightmares. "Ari, not now, cover."

Even on a wing and half a leg she was a beautiful flower of agony, spread of rockets, heavy beams, blistered depslugs streaking from her to seek the druids proved weakest by their alchemical conversion to bright blue explosions of blood and bone. Steamed heavy off her sink. The second Atlas was fighting up through my disrupt. I hit it with a PDN flare mix, and didn't catch the green blue spellwork shield crackling twixt its bark til I had to duke it.

The Altas caught a claw with one limb, put two more into my main body, right center, and I was overwhelmed by the vomit stench of my tissue and exo and endo rupturing, polymuscles shredded, but I boiled my feet in deep with stage one for jump, and got my other claw on its middle trunk. My com was choking garbled but I said, "Ari-" before I felt the left rear third joint sheer and snap.

She was to me before I could waver with her forelegs' high beam up to max in its face. Light hotter than stars burst the banyan into three flaming pieces, sheer through the trunk, bloodless, charred beyond recognition in a second. She buzzed me. "We can't stay." The last of the Atlases was pulling a highdef organized multiplier out of the earth. Looked like pine tree trunk but carried in a single limb. I specced another Atlas closing. One good HDOM shot would dust my armor. One bad shot would vaporize Ari. "You're right."

I tried to spool up, but the PDN was dead, so I blasted chaff along the ground in front of the Atlas. Give it some hot shrapnel to work through, dialed the rest for max dispersal, and cut three quarters skyward. "Grab a lift," I snarled and she was on me. "And set your main."

The earth churned and my legs threatened to give, but held. "Case. I tried that last week, rec? I couldn't hit shit."

"Yeah. You tried it. We didn't." I hit the jump, we caught sky.

Ari's limbs folded around my body, and her remaining claws clamped, support struts pierced my exo secondary limbs unfolded to add more stability. She shifted the main rifle forward from inside her thorax and opened the remaining wing, heat vents fully extended, coolant spraying out of her wounds as it pumped triple time through her sinks. Her thorax flexed heavy with breath and the gun's wiring and nerve rigs flushed the scent of her excited musk around us. I wrapped my three remaining legs up over my body and clung to her, spun us with my wings on our axis. We had a beautiful aerial view of the remains of our own ambush, our legs fallen close like hands of dying lovers.

The main gun of the wasp would not be possible to see if we had human eyes. A three stage system requiring the finest care with aiming and multiple stabilizers to the firing platform ensuring a clean hit, combined with full heat dispersal for blowback. It would break up shield and decoms, disruptors and polyplate, followed instantly by a particle beam depslug mixture.

I wrapped my claws over her cockpit segment and she fired. The slug obliterated the Atlas, its multiplier detonating and spraying organized green spears haphazardly with blue geometry. The drop target went up and threw a cloud of concentrated bacto over what looked like eight kilometers. I saw the beam digging a canyon through the earth moments before the bacteria and debris blacked the site.

We were thrown, I lost a second leg and both wings. Deaf to coms. My chaff clattered off us, shredded our armor. The full thorax and both of Ari's rear legs were torn away by recoil and a furnace blast of overheating power couplings as I held fiercely, even when my left claw was cleanly severed by the last flash of the beam and my main body punctured and boiled by her shrapnel. I realized I wasn't deaf, I simply was unable to hear anything except Ari screaming and lost valuable seconds - nothing to see but sky and only rushing air over our spinning bodies.

I jetted waste from my secondary vents, they spat angrily but caught air. Risked it, held Ari with my only two legs and put my claw between us and the freight train rush up on drop target three. I hoped enough was left of her to hear me shout, "Impact Impact Impact!"

The ground was very wide and very fast and black. It was-

Nothing. Black.

Casey. Casey. You need to get up.

"Casey," Ari's hiss was a near inaudible comm. "Casey please... I can't move my legs."

I specced, half blind, dialed it through. There was a flicker of distant green. Move. I felt joints and plastic muscle, raw tissue and white foam dig the earth, I moved in a little circle. The drop ship was waiting - no pilot, just auto for a grunt mission in and out.

"I'm up," I lied to Ari. She hissed, "I know you aren't." I specced myself. One leg could move, claw somehow intact, thank you polyplate. Other legs just partial joints, trailed their hydraulics and burned nerves. Quarter chopped off the rear platform. "Am so," I thrummed and put my claw in the ground, levered. Slid my partial legs underneath and my one good one up. "I'm up." I started pushing myself along the earth.

Felt like dragging the big protein drums on kitchen duty, couldn't lift much as rock myself back and forward one side at a time. I found what was left of Ari.

"How's it look," she hissed. One of her two remaining legs was shattered in half a dozen places, congealed foam doing nothing for the fluid leaks. Her other leg might last. Sensary might even be salvageable. There were holes gaping in her deformed cockpit, gel and blood oozing through cracks. "Looks great," I thrummed. "You lost so much weight."

Her laugh wheezed. "You got one good leg Ari, I need you to hitch a ride." She fumbled in the mud and found the tattered edge of my exo, dragged herself half onto what was left of my main body, and I pushed. Her voice was distant now, "Hey Case, remember that night fight, we jumped a bunch of elves with a flashblind."

Just a few meters. "Yeah, pretty funny. Guess they remembered us." She wheezed again, her comm was rattling. "And that time we used ice for heat sig?" My claw hit metal. I strained on the loading ramp without traction. "That was pretty good too, yeah." Fuck it. I grabbed one of the less important control struts and heaved, pulled. Felt my innards and Ari slither along metal, almost home. One more pull. "Hey Casey, hey. Remember when the fuckin elves ambushed us with our same dumb ideas and you thought I should shoot em on the jump."

I punched the recall code, the hatch cranked shut, dumped the tangled mess of our bodies into the drop bay. Acceleration crushed us. "Yeah Ari, that wasn't the best idea ever." The rig loomed up. "Right Ari? I'm an idiot." The comm was quiet.

We were in the bay and I was in a pool of sludge. I could feel my legs and arms and bruises and my own real blood on my face. I could walk and and almost stand, crawling clambering falling down the lift stairs before the tech could say anything. He slipped after me, clutched railing and tried to keep his footing in the mucus as I went sidewinding to our sad and shattered shells, tech prying open the jaws of Ari's with hydraulic levers.

I shoved through as the seal cracked, reek of poisoned atmos and stagnant amniogel, the snap of bone and it fell open, pouring Ari onto the hanger floor, washed up against me. I was on my knees, she was in my arms. Bone showed through one of her broken legs and a bloody hole in her ribs frothed blood. Her bottom lip split so bad I could see her shattered teeth sticking through it. Blood from her ears, nose, eyes, whole body a contour map of bruises.

Ari's one good eye cracked and she gurgled wet and rough, "You look like shit, Case." She spit blood.

"Told you. No excuses bitch."

"Fuck. No exchs." Nitrile gloved hands pulled us apart, and meds were shoving tubes into her, slapping dermals on her. They had a stretcher. Someone shone a light in my eye, I felt the cold slap of a dermal on my shoulder blade. "No excuses," I slurred as loud as I could. He said, "You shouldn't be standing up." I didn't know if Ari could hear. "I'm gonna be waiting!" They hit me with another dermal and goodnight.

It was like that for awhile, before I could go back to my bunk. Lot of debrief, I got a commendation, which mostly meant some extra cash in my account if I lived to spend it. Some looks. DeeDee came by and said "Mad respect." Scatter stopped in with some nearly not paint thinner whiskey. Squad leader came in and chewed me out. Then some days in my smaller, worse bed. I lay on my clothes and punched back painkillers and beauties, then got out of my space and flipped the latch on Ari's room to get into hers.

It looked the same. Laundry unlaundered, whiffs of fermented sweat and sex, crumpled up wrappers for hot sauce, thermalprint hentai, congealed shampoo and soap blocks. I held a tanktop to my face and inhaled, poked around her trash listlessly til I saw a scrap of print. Her last psyche, pages of red and yellow, warnings cautions, parts of it printed red on black. I banged out of her room with it clenched in my hot fist, storming along the counter spin corridors to Ring 2.

Medical. Deep breath. I pushed the door in and gave Ari the biggest smile I could muster and she asked, "Oh no. What's wrong," from where she was still ensconced in tubes to keep her lungs working while the biogels slowly closed her skin over. "What do you mean, what's wrong," I forgot to separte teeth for talking. Maybe a couple weeks before she was walking wounded. "You got a smile like you dropped a battery pack on your foot."

She looked better with her lips stitched back together. Her new front teeth were steel. I blinked and shook and pursed my lips so I wouldn't snarl when I unfolded the psyche chart she'd left balled up under her desk. Needles prickled along my feverish forehead. Tried to find words as she shifted her eyes away from mine and just said, "Oh. That."

I dropped it on her stomach. "Why? You could've- It... Why?" I've been called poetic in my time.

Ari started to bite her lip then stopped. Rubbed her eyes with her palms. "Ow. Everything hurts - Casey, what are you gonna do when you get outta here?"

"Because you can- Huh?" I blinked several more times rapidly. "Uh, I dunno. Little place with some twenty-threes? Maybe a dog? Nothing too special, just wanted a shot at like... living yeah?"

"But you think about it and... y'know, you see something?"

"Yeah, I guess, I mean a little. Who knows?"

She shut her eyes. "Well I didn't see anything." Squeezed her eyes. "I didn't think I'd- Case, I didn't come here for a shot at living. I... didn't see that. That idea." Tears slipped out of her eyes and she grimaced, shoved her hands against them. "I never planned to live that long," her breath hitched.

I didn't know what to do with my hands, whether to move over to her, or what. I nodded to her closed eyes, felt stupid. "Ari, I'd, uh, like it if you did."

She let out a long breath and opened damp eyes. "That's what, I mean, I met you. It's been good, and like. I realized I had started thinking about it."

"Thinking about it?"

"About being alive. Somewhere there, I mean, like, I thought about that I might want a future if it had you in it. And I guess I freaked about the idea it might not happen, and I wanted to keep you somewhere safe where I wasn't going to mess that up."

I folded my arms. "Ari, I fucking swear." She looked back at me. "I don't care how much it hurts, move the fuck over right now, I'm gonna hug you so bad you break another four ribs."

She slid a bit, and I managed to half lay in the bed around the IV tubes. I managed not to break her ribs. Big, stupid and hot tears dripped down my cheeks and nose as I squeezed, then grabbed her hands in mine. "Every day you wake up. I'll give you that future. You might not see yourself and that's okay because you'll see me, and I hope that's enough."

"I kinda kinda love you bitch," I clutched her tight. She kissed me, stitches rough against my lips, and smiled as she did. "You can stay," she said.

"I'll stay." And I did.

#gore cw #body horror #t4t #mecha #original fiction

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l-in-the-light · 14 days ago

Text

Chapter 1132 & 1133 commentary

Finally I could catch up with my commentary! I have a looot to say about those chapters, in a slightly different style this time. But first of all, let's do a survey, I'm curious about people's thoughts on this :D

And now we're moving on to the chapters :3

Shanks bragging about Luffy? Cute! But you know what, if I didn't know Shanks, I would buy that. But he's bragging to a kid about Luffy for no reason? Nah. He's ditching responsibility on Luffy here. YES. Shanks decided it's too much pain to refuse the kids so he gives Colin a new target to nag to instead, lol. Yeah, okay, that's the Shanks I know and recognize now, haha. You can choose to believe in Shanks' doting nature here. or you can think, like me, that Shanks basically shoved Collin to Luffy for a change LOL. "Remember him" uhum. I missed this side of Shanks, the walking mischief, lol.

I like how defensive Luffy is about Sunny! He's never gonna make the same mistake he did with Merry when he called them just a ship instead of a crew! Here, Luffy is ready to punch faces for his crewmate, the Sunny :D

A cute moment of girl solidarity (between Nami and Robin), cool to see that in a shonen manga, even if it's brief :)

Gerd seems to have really liked Big Mom and is regretful it ended the way it ended. I wonder what is the unforgivable thing though... semla? Giant warrior dying without any honor? or perhaps breaking the marriage promise (Lola and Loki)? We have a lot of candidates here, but clearly Gerd has one thing in mind in particular, hm.

We also learn that Elbaf consists of three realms: of heaven, of sun and of dead. It's interesting because it can be applied to the One Piece world in general, the highest point The Red Line was the realm of the gods (so kinda heaven), lower one of sun (people worshipping sun god) and of dead (beyond the sea level, as there is literally a whole civilisation under the water. Also fishmen island, located on the bottom of the sea, dreams of surface and being part of the "sun" realm).

Speaking of Elbaf, seems the village changed a bit since Big Mom's times that we saw in the flashback. Now Elbaf is located on the cloud level but it seems it wasn't always like that. Perhaps after whatever disaster Big Mom caused, the Giants decided to move up and seclude themselves from human visitors? It's possible Vegapunk helped them with that too.

It's interesting that the island is called Elbaf, but the country itself is called Warland. It suggests once upon a time there might have been a different country located there (maybe Giants originally did live in the clouds, like in the Jack and the bean stalk fairytale. We did see an enormous bean stalk before!). Yet, there is a god called Elbaf as well, which is kinda confusing, unless it's some sort of God Usopp situation there, lol.

Seems Giants are really big on hospitality. "You guys can have leftovers. The feast is for the Strawhats!". Curious, considering the fact this country seems to be off-limits to humans in general, not counting exceptions like Shanks or Luffy and their crews.

Strawhats reactions to the rainbow bridge are priceless (who can blame them tho? I would react the same way!). Seems indeed anything can be possible in this world, even sailing on rainbow like it's a water highway. Apparently it makes a "kira kira" glittering/sparkling sound, which is a nice little detail. Even Robin is shocked, this is the first time she sees something like that, and she saw and knows sooo much more things than any other Strawhat! The only person unsurprised (but still excited) is Lilith, because as a Vegapunk she visited Elbaf before :)

We finally found out what the sunstone does and why is it so important for Elbaf. Apparently it's based on real life viking device used for navigation. Is it a relic from ancient kingdom (and can Vegapunk recreate it)? Is that why Brook is innocently singing Binks sake here?! maybe not haha but who knows, Brook is a walking mystery!

Elbaf is indeed impressive. It would be so awesome as a video game setting, which you can explore any way you want ❤ That castle looks actually pretty similiar to the lego castle Rodo build huh. It's so nice that Luffy and Usopp got their panels here too, with the callback to their promise; to one day visit the land of the giants. And here they are, merely two years later :D

Everyone's reactions is either impressed/dumbfounded or excited. With two exceptions! Sanji isn't even looking (lol, he's already in his heaven, huh), and Lilith? Lilith is acting proud of herself there, grinning happily. Like I said, it's not her first time in Elbaf and it's likely Vegapunk actually helped with his cloud manufacturing technology on Elbaf before! If that's the case, her proud grin is more than justified here :D

I saw many people really worried that these frames above are foreshadowing the final crew, hinting that Lilith and Bonney are indeed the last Strawhats. Well, if that makes you anxious, then don't worry: they're not the last Strawhats (they're at least not present on 13 Strawhats as cats picture). And if that made you on the contrary happy because you really want Lilith and Bonney to join, then welp, I'm sorry? They're still gonna always be Strawhats friends tho! Bonney actually is likely to be next gen of Strawhats, together with Tama once they both grow up, who knows :D

Let's address this. I know many people reeeeally jumped on the hype train that this is about time flowing differently in Elbaf, but I think the hint as to what it means lies in Little Garden arc actually. Why? Because both times we had a callback to Lous Arnote and that must be related imo. In Little Garden log pose took a year to reset (apparently because of poor magnetic field of the island? Not that it's ever explained about Little Garden in particular though). It's possible on Elbaf it takes *even longer than a year* hence don't linger too long (but also don't regret in case you do :D). Could people get stuck there? Is that why those humans in dead realm can't just leave the island? I'm aware my explanation is way too simple (now log pose has three arrows instead of one, after all), but I kinda like it this way, lol. Time shanenigans though? Uneccessarily complicated imo.

Speaking of Little Garden...

Those beliefs could explain why Loki is kept alive despite posing such a big danger to the world, it means he has divine protection and god decided Loki is "right" (and was right to kill the king). Giants trying to kill Loki are in "the wrong" then and end of the world is supposed to happen. Or are there suddenly exceptions to this Elbaf's rule?

Luffy's reaction in Little Garden makes me think that Luffy has similar reason for striking the deal with Loki now. He dislikes when people are judged by gods and whoever decided Loki's fate at birth must have been a god (who else, really?). Loki being imprisoned is also part of the same reason, I guess. Why wouldn't Luffy want to help him, actually? Though I am curious what exactly Loki promised to give him in exchange for the deed. Maybe it is related to Shanks or maybe to something else, hm.

This promise also gives us a potential time frame limit for this arc. "Don't linger too long" says Louis. Giants really rush for the feast as well, like they're afraid if they don't start fast enough they will run out of time to celebrate with the Strawhats somehow. And then there's Loki who told Luffy to get the key to his chains "till morning of next day" (unofficial translation) / "akatsuki ni" (fancy way of saying "in the event of"; original version). And while I recognize it's just a mistranslated figure of speech, let's not forget Luffy himself isn't well versed in fancy ways of speaking, so he *might* have taken it literally (akatsuki = dawn), like a child would as well that doesn't know of this phrase yet. That could give the arc some sort of direction.

I guess this all possibly points towards Elbaf arc taking place in the span of one day. It might be a giant adventure (because everything is giant and we're in land of giants), but it won't be long. But then Dressrosa took place in span of one day and it was like 100 chapters, so it's worth keeping it in mind too, lol. I'm just saying it's possible the arc will be one day long in universe time, no idea how long it will be in terms of chapters ofc. Elbaf does have a lot of links to Egghead and feels like a complementary arc to it, kinda the same way Zou led to the Whole Cake Island with it's premise of kidnapped Sanji. But Egghead was waaaaay longer than Zou haha (maybe the length proportions will be reversed in this case? :D).

Before I move on to the next chapter, I will do a compilation of Gerd, Rodo and the rest of Giant Pirates, because they deserve some attention too.

Let's start from Gerd. She *clearly* has a thing for humans, lol. She finds them cute, kinda like pets or dolls, and some of the things she says, when you stop and pay attention to it, makes you raise an eyebrow at her, lol. "I'm not like Rodo!" "I don't go around trapping humans in cages!" "He didnt give you any choice when he put you in there!" (unofficial translation, it's worth noting that in official one it's toned down a bit). Excuse me, Gerd...? Did you just suggest that it's alright to trap humans in cages as long as you have permission? 😂

Yeah, don't believe her when she says she's not like Rodo. She totally is and she fawns over humans to the same extent he does, lol. She just remembers not to put them in cages before asking if it's alright with them, lmao (yes, sorry, I really find this remark too funny). Look at how happy she is that she can carry Luffy&co around or stay with them even a tad bit longer, enthusiastically offering her help. She's a fangirl, alright. And what is Rodo if not a fanboy, lol. They kinda deserve each other.

I mean, yes, of course Rodo is way more creepy. He doesn't even try to hide his fanboyism after all, and he doesn't care about consent much in his roleplaying games. He's kinda this reclusive fanboy never leaving his basement, not having any friends (or having only one or two) and spending most of his days immersed in his roleplays 24/7. That's some dedication! In comparison, Gerd is like a closet fangirl, trying to keep it as private and unobvious as possible. But look at her! She's going to Rodo's castle just because she heard he snatched a small ship. Small ship means small humans, of course she wants to see them! Look at how excited she is despite claiming she's only doing her duty. Nah, girl, you're not fooling us. And look at Goldberg and his knowing smile, he *knows* her true reason to go there too.

Of course, despite being so happy to see humans, she wouldn't bond over that with Rodo. That's because Rodo is insufferable with his fanboyism, no brakes, exposing it without any shame. It's like looking at herself in a distorted mirror, it would rub her the wrong way. That's why she insists so much on how different she is from Rodo, because she knows what *boundaries* and *brakes* actually are. But who knows, maybe she is slightly jealous that he can be so open and unrestricted about it. She might complain about him all the time, but it still wouldn't stop her from going to his place, as long as he might have some tiny humans around.

Goldberg is like this friend who sees their two companions dancing obliviously around each other, trying to deny their actual feelings. He even says that Rodo would be happy to be called the disgrace of Elbaf (by Gerd specifically!), because Rodo would probably think it's a compliment, lol. Imagine how fun it must be to sail with him, he would navigate while roleplaying all the time, earning constant hits from Gerd, lol.

For those who remember my theory on pirates and their treasures (pair of characters sharing things/treasures together and being each other's treasures as the result. For example, Nami and Nojiko both treasure Bellemere's tangerines, their bond is also symbolically shown as them sharing twin bracelets, which leads to conclusion that they're also the most important people in the world for each other), well, Rodo and Gerd share some theme like that too, actually! For example, Rodo and Gerd wear same type of shoes and furry accessories on their calves (no one else from Hajrudin's pirates has it!). Also Gerd wears a striped pattern on one of her legs that looks oddly similar to Rodo's striped mantle. They also have really similar passion for humans, which creates a deep bond (even if Gerd dislikes that connection for now). They're definitely coded as characters significant to each other, though I dunno what's the actual nature of their relationship (friends? siblings? lovers?), not that it matters, because they're hilarious together anyway.

They're really quickly growing on me and I wonder which way this little side story will go. Oda writes all of his side characters and develops them even if he has no intention to reveal their full backstory (for example, he designed All of the 85 Big Mom's Children, even though he admitted he will probably not even need it! But all those details and backstories were still created and are kept in his magic notebook). That's why I believe I sniffed out the relationship between Rodo and Gerd accurately, even if I might be misinterpreting some details here and there about it. The hints are definitely there tho.

It was also revealed that Rodo still considers himself part of the New Giant Pirates! Despite disagreeing with Hajrudin and not wanting to serve itty bitty humans, he never *left* the pirate crew, like many people suspected he did! Seems it's actually Hajrudin who wants him out of the crew now, not the other way around, lol. But that's a bit odd, because it's true Rodo was against humans and thought not much of them and refused to serve them as the result. And yet in current timeline he's kinda humans-obsessed all of a sudden??

Who knows, maybe that changed the moment he learned that Gerd likes humans? Maybe he decided to learn to like them because she likes them? He clearly likes Gerd (he even calls her Gerd-taso and acts like a simp lol) so it's not impossible. They just disagree on details (like serving humans or not locking them in cages). Maybe Gerd at first took it on herself to teach Rodo about humans, but it got out of hand and she created a fanboy monster by accident, hahaha.

It's also worth noting that Rodo at first was kinda worried when he realized Strawhats got lost and he thought it will lead to trouble. But then he put them into his lego city anyway. Perhaps he wanted to show them to Gerd, lol. After all she seems to visit him awfully lot and it's always about humans. Damn, he might even keep humans there just so she visits him, like a bait. And it seems to work super duper well! And that phrase "itty bitty humans"? Might have been Gerd's slip of tongue that Rodo caught up on and adopted ever since :D

"Let's get you locked up again before the others catch on" what are you on about, Rodo! They already know?? Or does Gerd and Goldberg not count?! Does it mean he thinks he can bribe them to stay quiet about it?? I mean, I guess I can imagine Goldberg roleplaying together with Rodo for fun, they're probably actually friends. But Gerd?? Was he gonna give her one of the Strawhats to keep forever, a peace offering or a love gift, without realizing That Won't Make Her Happy (I mean, it would make her happy, but she would also feel disgusted, because you don't treat humans like dolls, no matter how adorable they are!).

And yeah, Rodo's Gerd-simping moment was very Sanji-style, "she must be here to save me!". Actually, scratch that, he's worse than Sanji, 100% submissive princess-in-distress, treating Gerd as his hero. Maybe Gerd defended him from some bullies once, when they were both kids, and he wouldn't leave her alone ever since. And since Rodo seems to be always living in his fantasy worlds, he doesn't even realize Gerd doesn't like him or is not trying to compliment him with the words she says, lol. Damn, it's really fun to speculate about those two :D Maybe I'm so into it because I never had the opportunity to analyze arcs chapter by chapter like this and never paid that much attention to side characters before. And Elbaf is more my type of a fun arc than sci-fi world of Egghead was ;)

This scene has such Nami-beating-up-Luffy vibes to it, lol. Even Goldberg joined in. Rodo is definitely insufferable but he's also like, kinda fun. I get it now when Oda said that he always creates characters that he likes, so that in worst case they at least have one fan. All of Oda's characters have so much charm and thought put into them!

Speaking of pairs, Hajrudin and Loki were on my mind lately as well. They share some interesting similarities. Loki has his eyes covered, Hajrudin wears helmet with those protective pieces around his eyes (he had it since Dressrosa actually!), but they kinda obstruct his view? Like, look at Dorry's similar helmet - he has a clear view, so Hajrudin's variation is not a regular thing! I feel like it's showing us the connection between him and Loki (both having obscured eyes). I know the story suggested they're brothers and kinda against each other, but Brogy and Dorry also are "opposing/fighting each other" and yet no one would argue how special their bond is. It might be the same type of thing between Loki and Hajrudin.

Who knows what was Loki's real reason for killing his father? Maybe he did it for his brother somehow. Why did Hajrudin wanted the flame flame fruit in Dressrosa? Was it to free his brother perhaps? Whatever it is, I'm sure their bond will turn out to be important and somewhat explored in this arc (probably not the main focus though, they're just side characters after all? Though Loki did get his own double spread, so who knows, who knows).

Holdem's back! I forgot he existed, ngl, haha. Actually, he probably has no idea that Yamato is on the enemy's side, because when the raid happened, Holdem was in Udon, unaware of Yamato switching sides! Maybe the title of the chapter relates to him as well, he's not threatening Yamato, he might be expecting praise from Kaido's son for not giving up despite Beast Pirates' defeat. But also he's just trying to survive by robbing people. Yamato looks a bit like he's in a pickle, huh. Always having to prove on which side he is and clearing various challenges thrown his way (human children bullies, going against his previous friends), dang.

Oooof, this was like a punch to the guts. But it was needed. This emotional bomb dropped so we can remember and focus on Robin's suffering. Olvia, Clover and Saul all made efforts so Robin can live, but at what price. That life was a pure nightmare for her and we should never forget it.

This is such a powerful moment as well. Can't believe we had to wait so many years to see a scene like this 😭😭

In the couple of last chapters we saw a lot of Robin's reactions, showing surprise and being exicted and happy. It's the first time we ever see her that open with her emotions, just allowing herself to experience things. It's a joy to see and a reminder that she came a long way since Enies Lobby. She's able to act so unrestricted and honest, and it also makes her look younger again.

She's also wearing this cute shirt with crossbones and a heart skull. Showing off that she's a pirate at heart? Or perhaps it's a crossed out heart haha.

This library building looks eerily similar to the island house in One Piece Odyssey! Except that one was half of a ship haha.

A really cute moment. Robin is nervous before meeting Saul again (she says her heart beats really fast, so she's both excited and nervous), but thanks to Saul's little fake show she laughs and says she got nervous for nothing. It's so precious that Saul tried to break the ice, afraid that their meeting will be too awkward otherwise and chose to be so silly about it. Since Robin claimed she stopped feeling nervous, it worked really well to release the tension :D

Also I can't believe the whole scare around Saul "not getting up" was him just roleplaying their first meeting, oh lol. That cliffhanger was worth it, I would happily get fooled again :D This is just so wholesome.

Btw Saul, besides some burn scars, also now has a peg leg.

I also adored that Strawhats decided to accompany Robin, not leaving her even for a moment, taking their duty to protect her seriously. But they're probably just curious as well. Luffy even says he needs to greet Saul and thank him for taking care of his crew, which, to be frank, is such an Ace-like moment?? That's exactly how Ace explained why he wanted to meet Shanks! (just used the word brother instead of crew).

This scene worries me a bit I'm a worry-cat, you should all know it by now, haha. That's because Robin interrupts Saul when he talks about her future (probably wanting to say something like: thanks to their efforts you will finally stop being pursued one day), but Robin is not even interested in hearing about that. I get it, it must be making her sad and she says she doesn't want to talk about sad things anymore, not when she can finally reunite with Saul. But at the same time this dismissal of hers when the talk goes to the topic of her own wellbeing reminds me of Enies Lobby and Robin's self-sacrificing tendencies, you know? Those don't go away just like that and I think they still are lying dormant in Robin. Let's just hope I read a bit too much into that.

As to why I think it was Saul who said the line about Robin's future is because of his speech pattern in the original. Robin uses more refined/less casual language, meanwhile Saul tends to finish his sentences on the "yo" syllabe in this part. He did it even just a frame next to this one as well, so it feels kinda natural it's still him speaking. Though the use of "yo" is kinda nuanced in Japanese, so I might be wrong on that one, keep it in mind :D it could even fit both ways, Saul sharing info Robin didn't have (hence the "yo" to emphasize it) and continuing on with that, or it might be Robin interrupting him by bringing something to his attention she thinks he missed or being slightly pushy in changing the topic (it doesn't suit her too much, but hey, the official translation also seems to suggest this is Robin's line).

Also I just think it would be nice if both Robin and Saul addressed each other with "anta" ❤

Now it's time to cry. I find Robin's line, asking for Saul to praise her, really meaningful. After all, when she was a kid, that was her exact motivation! She learned how to read poneglyphs because she wanted to be praised by the archeologists (and be useful to them), spend more time together with them, but also hoping that her mother would also praise her and take her with her this time. Even when Clover tells Robin to escape she says she would rather die together with them than be alone. The outcome of Ohara was really the worst for Robin who always felt so alone and lost even the hope to ever be with anyone she loved again. Her biggest dream wasn't to be an archeologist because she loved history so much (though yes, she did enjoy it ofc), but it was just to hold her mom's hand and go for a walk together. To live happily with her, like a true family.

Before Olvia died, she did praise Robin for her efforts. Back then I didn't understand it this way and thought it's just an affectionate moment between the two, but it was actually Olvia recognizing what Robin wanted to hear the most :(

Robin had to survive on her very own, which was a nightmare for her already. But Saul repeats the same words to Robin that Olvia did - "Live!" and even gives her hope "You won't be alone, you will meet your comrades!". He knows really well how lonely Robin feels and how much she needs to hear all of that (he might have known her for only a few days, but he really paid attention to her!). He says all of it for her sake. And upon their reunion, he still keeps on doing that actually! Not only praises her for surviving, but also assures her she isn't alone in carrying the will of Ohara.

I think Saul is carrying Olvia's will (besides Ohara's will) here, took over the role of Robin's parent, and damn, he might be doing better job at it than Olvia ever did, no offense to her, but she was the parent who chose her mission over her daughter. It might sound cruel, but she's hardly the first or last parent in OP who did that. Saul, on the other hand, is trying to make things right again, isn't he? He can't fix the whole world so it becomes safe for Robin to live in, but he is still trying to do whatever he can to protect the legacy instead of her, so that one day it can contribute to a better future.

The raw emotion in this scene, my heart! I can't believe people can read this chapter and be like "pfff a reunion with the supposed dead character, what cheap writing". Come on, Robin deserved this moment of happiness. And it's not like it's a deus ex machina or anything, in fact this reunion is pretty bittersweet. Because Robin will have to leave Saul behind again, it's not like he can just travel with the Strawhats from now on. It's nice that Robin will be able to think that Saul is somewhere out there on Elbaf, wishing for her happiness, but it will always stay a long distance bond between them. Their reunion also can't erase all those years of lonely suffering from Robin's life.

Just like Saul became a parent for Robin, Robin thinks of Saul very fondly too. That's the reason why she's smiling even when she isn't happy, it's all because of Saul's words she always carried in her heart. Robin's smiles are often looking a bit forced, but the reason behind is really deep. It makes her recent, very honest smiles all that more precious too.

Did you ever wonder why does Saul love Robin so much? Why did he dedicate everything to her and Olvia, people who were complete strangers to him? He even lost his place in Navy and became a fugitive as the result. Yeah, sure, we can just shrug and say it's because he's such a nice person, but I think there's more to Saul than that. I would call him an accidental hero - he never actually planned to be one and lots of his heroism is rooted in his feeling of guilt (not unlike Olvia who thought she doomed the whole Ohara, huh). He even called it "karma" at one point. I really think Saul is a deeper character than just a simple good-hearted hero and I wonder if we will catch some new side of him now, on Elbaf too :D

Everyone is bawling besides the Roronoa-I-pretend-I-have-a-heart-of-steel-Zoro and I'm-too-old-for-that-Jimbei, and Luffy. Luffy is too busy being genuinely happy and grinning. And looking a tiny bit proud. And hey, he has every right to feel this way! All the way back in Alabasta, it was him who dragged Robin back to safety, saving her life, and accepted her on his crew. The Robin back then wasn't happy to be alive and thought there's no point in trying anymore. But this moment here? Would have never happened if she gave up all the way back then! And this is thanks to Luffy that she didn't.

This is the moment of turning despair upside down. It's a bit like how Kin said it in Wano "Looking back, it's been nothing but peril after peril, but I was fortunate to meet you..." and a moment later he adds "...at my most desperate state". Except Kin thinks it was both Luffy and Law who managed to turn his fate around (after all Law spared him by cutting him to pieces, that was mercy) and showed him that things will get better, something that Kin lost sight of back on Punk Hazard, succumbing to his rage.

Speaking of previous chapter's survey, let's just agree that Robin indeed changed her hair to celebrate meeting Saul. And if her hair cutting has also some other extra reason, I guess we will find out soon-ish (or later-ish).

Finally, I decided to pick my side as to who I think the mysterious guy in Wano's style of hat is. And I think the answer of "it's Yorki, not Shiki" satisfies me the most. We already had one tearful reunion in Elbaf, let's go for another one, Brook deserves it too! Seems like Elbaf attracts wonders, doesn't it.

I have no idea how Yorki could have survived, but if he did, it only makes sense he would be trying to search for Brook and the rest of the crew. He said that he deeply regretted leaving them and promised he will try to meet them again (if he doesn't die). So i think Yorki was searching for them, but couldn't find them. He was also feeling too guilty before to visit Laboon without Brook (Brook was Laboon's favourite person!). That would also explain why Crocus claimed he had a good source about Rumbar Pirates ditching the Grand Line, because indeed, Yorki's group did, together with him! Maybe he even did give up for a while, and only started to search for Brook again only much later. Maybe he spent a lot of time in Wano, because it was a closed off country - very likely place to find someone who vanished from the surface of the earth, right? Who knows, maybe he met Toki at one point and she send him forward to future (otherwise Yorki would be an old geezer by now, right? he seemed younger than Brook, but Brook spent 44 years in Florian Triangle, I think Yorki's hair would be white by now, at the very least).

Anyway, I won't try to sell you any details of how it all worked, because I actually have no idea myself. I have no clue how Yorki survived his sickness. but if he did (and many things point towards that) he would definitely try his best to reunite with Brook again, even if it was based on irrational hope and wishing for a miracle. But then Brook joined Luffy, got a new bounty, and even became a music star with his own concerts, his fame would reach Yorki finally as well. Which is why he finally decided to visit Crocus and Laboon, and they celebrated together and Yorki is probably promising he will go and see Laboon together with Brook again, or something like that :D I wonder how Brook will react... he's slightly insane (among other things) so he might try to flee at first, lol. This also adds a weight to Laboon on that cover page, doing the big surprised face :D

Since we learned lately that Brook is skilled in cutting people's hair it's possible that was his job on Rumber Pirates crew. Is that why Yorki has kept his hair so long? Because he wants for Brook to cut it again for him? :D

Who else might reunite on Elbaf? :D

#one piece #one piece 1132 #one piece 1133 #one piece spoilers #nico robin #saul #hajrudin #loki #elbaf arc #love is a hurricane #rodo #gerd #tearful reunion #Elbaf the tearful reunion arc?? the arc of miracles!#it would be funny if the arc finishes with Strawhats releasing Loki and escaping #leaving chaos behind and for matters to resolve by themselves lol #probably not gonna be the case but would be a nice parallel with the lego city escape :D #sorry that I didn't post much lately been busy :((#one piece chapter commentary

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oxymorayuri · 10 months ago

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𝑇𝑟𝑎𝑓𝑎𝑙𝑔𝑎𝑟 𝐷. 𝑊𝑎𝑡𝑒𝑟

𝐿𝑎𝑤 ✘ ♀ 𝑅𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑒𝑟

𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐈𝐒𝐓: Aydana / lababa

Story: The princess of Tanata

(Long Fic)

➽ Click on this link to see all chapters.

Spoiler: nope

Warnings: not really, just some talking about Bepos bro.

slowburn with plot

Wordcount: 3194

Text in italics emphasizes the reader’s thoughts

Bold and italic text emphasizes Law's thoughts *~*

Tagging: @slytherinambitious - @sassyyassi - @norasincubi - @cottoncandyloverrrr - @one-piece-frvr7

After the fight, you hang out on the meadow.

The sun shines through the tree crowns and a gentle breeze blows occasionally. Together you enjoy the peaceful evening and people chat in their little groups. Sanji came with Chopper and Franky and brought dinner for everyone.

The day couldn't be more beautiful.

After dinner, Brook played a song for the group, a song about pirate life. The pirates around you cheered and sang the song with their arms around each other. Although you don't know the lyrics, the cheerful mood makes you swing along and you clap to the beat.

Binks' Sake | Binkusu no Sake ♪♪♪ Yo-hohoho, Yo-hohoho Yo-hohoho, Yo-hohoho Yo-hohoho, Yo-hohoho Yo-hohoho, Yo-hohoho Going to deliver Binks' sake! We are pirates sailing through the sea! The waves are our pillows, The ship our roost Flying the proud skull on our flags and our sails ♪♪♪

You are amazed at how everyone can actually sing along to the song and the lyrics make you curious. After the performance, you watched the sunset together.

I wonder what it's like to be a pirate?

Your father has always made you so curious and the stories he and his crew told you have awakened a longing in you. It made you want to get to know life out there and sail the seas.

And for the first time in years, you feel this longing again, which you had shut off back then.

Why? Well, because you didn't want to sail into a world where people are both dangerous and cruel.

But with the crew before your eyes you are pretty relieved…

They give you hope that not all humans and even pirates are like that. They are not like the people from back then, as they have proven in the last days.

"Princess, what are you thinking about?" Bepo appears in your field of vision and pulls you out of your thoughts. He takes a seat next to you and looks up into the sky you were looking a moment ago. You get out of your position and lean against the furry mink. Your gaze returns to the sky.

"Tell me, Bepo, do you ever miss home?" - "Miss my home? My home is the Polar Tang!" He says proudly and hums a little laugh. His expression is very soft as he watches the passing clouds. He wraps a paw around you and pulls you closer to him and you snuggle up further.

The way you two snuggle together has already become quite normal. Often you've joined Bepo when you've seen him lying in the sun, in the quiet palace garden and together you've looked for funny pictures in the clouds.

"But if you mean the place where I was born, then I can tell you that yes, I miss my old home, but there was an important reason why I left my home island…" Although he lies calm and relaxed with you, you can hear the sadness in his voice. You gently brush against his paw and pat him. You look caringly into his eyes and he returns your gaze.

"But when I'm at sea with my crew, the Heart Pirates, home is everywhere." He covers up his sadness and gives you a little Eskimo kiss on the nose, which you happily return.

"You said that very beautifully." You can't help but hug the mink tightly with your thin arms.

"But why did you come up with that, Princess?" You look up at him with sparkling eyes.

"I've always wanted to leave this island and discover the wonders of the outside world, but my family and friends are here…" You look to the side a little nervously.

You leave out the detail that your grandfather would never let you sail off anyway. Never. Not even if he wasn't the king. But you are also quite uneasy. Because as mentioned, the world out there also has a dark side.

But you're still sure that your curiosity will outweigh this feeling and you would take the risk… if only you were allowed to…

You laugh to yourself a little longingly.

"Hmm, maybe you just haven't found the right reason, that makes you want to break away from your roots." Bepo speaks thoughtfully. You look up at him, a little confused.

A real reason?

This question is written all over your face and the polar bear giggles again.

"Yes. For example, I wanted to find my brother." - "Did you find him?" You look up at him expectantly, but the mink exhales deeply.

"No…" There it is again. That heartbreaking sadness in his soft voice. This feeling goes straight through your chest.

"Not yet." You add to his sentence as you take both of his paws in your small hands and bring them to your forehead. You close your eyes as you feel Bepo bury his cheek in your hair. You whisper a little prayer to yourself and break away from your pose to look into his beady black eyes.

"Your journey just isn't over yet, I firmly believe you'll see him again." You could literally see it in front of your own eyes. Like a distant memory, you could see Bepo embracing his brother. You felt happiness and relief, but maybe it was just your deepest wish that sparked your imagination… Who knows.

"Even as a child I always wanted to see a Sea King, I'd say that's my reason!" Your voice seems so enchanted that a small laugh escapes from the polar bear.

"Nah, that's a weak reason." Your gaze goes up and there stands Shachi who has just casually butted into your conversation. You look at him with a raised eyebrow as he devours a few cookies with relish and offers you one too. You gratefully accept one as he takes a seat in front of you.

"Uh okay. Weak?" Blushing, you look at him questioningly.

"Hey, don't say it like that…" Penguin stands behind him with his hands on his hips, and as he takes a seat next to the cookie devouring man, he pulls his cap over his face.

"Hey, what are you doing?! I was just telling the truth!" Offended, he frees his face and gives the man next to him a dirty look. Penguin, on the other hand, shakes his head.

"HOW you say something is the point!" He declares with his finger raised. Politely, he turns to you with a hand on his chest.

"The princess's reason is not weak… just too easy!" You furrow your eyebrows, just as confused as before.

"Easy?" you look back and forth between the two men.

Then you look up questioningly at Bepo, who shrugs his shoulders and is just as confused by what the two guys are saying.

For a while you watch the back and forth arguing between the two men. Shachi says that it's the same thing, while Penguin desperately preaches about manners. You can't help but laugh. The two of them are just too entertaining, it would be torture for you not to laugh. If you're honest, you weren't even angry about Shachi's choice of words. You were more curious as to why your reason was weak or rather translated; too easy. Penguin's behavior warms your heart and the two in front of you seem like an old married couple.

"Hey what's up with you guys?" You open your eyes, which you had closed because of your laughing fit, and wipe the tears from the corners of your eyes. You look behind the men, who freeze in the middle of their quarrel, to look up at Law.

"Captain!" Bepo shouts happily. "Penguin and Shachi are just arguing about whether the princess's reason is weak or too easy." The men look back and forth from Law to Bepo in total shock. Bepo's words are so out of the blue. He hums a little skeptically and sits down as well. Law tries to understand the whole thing, but can't quite find the context.

Princess-ya's reasons? Weak or too easy?

He has no idea what the situation was before he came along. He was just curious because he heard from afar, how the two guys were arguing and you were laughing at full force.

Law looked into the Mink's beady eyes and made it quite obvious, that he was expecting a better explanation but the Polar Bear didn't get his signals and just grinned happily at him, now that Law was here. (lol llittle fangirl.)

"We've talked about how everyone has their reasons for leaving home, to sail out into the world… And Penguin and Sachi share the same opinion, that my reason isn't really good?" You're still a bit confused yourself, as you don't really know what they mean by that, but at least you can clear things up for Law.

With a raised eyebrow, he nods as he looks over at the men.

"Okay… and what's the reason?" Even though he's facing the men, his eyes are looking at you.

"Sea Kings" you speak a little quietly. You're nervous about what his answer will be.

"Sea Kings?" he repeats your word, clearly surprised.

"Yea Sea Kings…"

"Yeah okay, I agree with those two. That is indeed too easy."

Now, not only Shachi and Penquin are the two who are open mouthed but you and Bepo join in the shock. Law, on the other hand, crosses his arms and grins with his eyes closed.

You shake your head. Now you really want an explanation of what that means. If Law even thinks that, then he has to explain it to you now.

"What does too easy mean?" - "You'll meet a Sea King pretty quickly."

"Oh, okay." - "Your reason is definitely a tourists reason."

You're caught off guard by Law's direct manner and and your eyes blink with confusion, as your jaw dropped open. Law finds your reaction quite funny and decides to tease you some more.

"What do you do when you meet a Sea King? What do you get out of meeting a Sea King and what comes after?" You close your mouth, as you really don't have an answer for Law, and break the eye contact.

"You have the desire to meet a Sea King, but it's not really a reason to leave everything behind…"

You're confused by the whole reason thing. Law asks you things you don't understand.

"Why do I have to need a reason? Can't I see the journey as a reason?" To your confusion, the black haired man just grins at you and adjusts his hat a little. When his eyes look into yours again, you are slightly startled. His gaze goes right through you.

"Of course." His agreeing makes you study him closely, you can't figure out his true thoughts.

"Not everyone needs a good reason to sail the world, but you do, since you have a reason to stay." He looks at you as if he has read you like an open book.

Perhaps he already knows you too well, as you have spent a lot of time together in the past few days. But you can't get a single word past your lips. Law is visibly amused by your speechlessness, as you're usually a pretty talkative person.

"You have to understand that people either have a reason to leave, or to stay. You may want to see a Sea King, but that's not reason enough to leave; what's your reason for staying Princess-ya?" Slowly you follow the riddle that Law speaks and see his message.

"My family." you answer him absently.

"See… so "Sea King" isn't exactly a good reason, because it's not enough for you to drop the reason why you're staying." Law raises his arms a little as if presenting the answer that is becoming clearer to you.

"Woah that makes so much sense it hurts." Exhausted, you let yourself fall backwards into Bepo's arm. He gently pats your head.

You do realize that you don't have enough reasons to leave your homeland. You have wishes, but you know that not all of them will come true.

Basically, Law just wanted to show you that it's okay to have a reason to stay. You may not realize that many of the people here have led lives that are far from your imagination and that they had no reason to stay… but he's not sure if you understood it that way. He just doesn't want to go into it any further.

And as Law feared, you didn't take it that way.

As you all make your way back to the castle, you think hard about Law's words.

You want to discover the world, but you're a little scared. If you leave, what will happen to your people? What if they get attacked again? You have a great responsibility in this country and don't have the luxury of living out your desires.

Your duties. That is the reason why you stay.

You are envious that you don't have the privilege of choosing over your own life. Your life has been prophesized, carved into stone and tattooed on your skin.

Your life has been lived thousands of times and you are destined to begin and end your life here.

Your heart is heavy but you are proud to be the priestess of Tanata, if it weren't for the desire.

It's hard not to notice that your thoughts are elsewhere. You sip your tea absently while your grandfather and Delia talk about the current situation.

Grandfather had urged you to have a cup of tea with the family again, as most of your attention has been on the guests over the last few days, but the family shouldn't be neglected. You were a little annoyed.

If family is so important to him, why didn't he come and tell you in person?

[Yesterday]

When you came back to the castle, you went straight to your bedchamber... You just wanted to be alone and think about everything your pirate friends had told you.

You didn't even pay your grandfather a visit in his study, nor did you have your afternoon tea with Delia. These are things that are completely normal for you and your king noticed this unusual behavior immediately. He sent his butler that same evening to deliver "the king's words" to you. He wants to see you at tea tomorrow and you realize, that it's more of an order than a request.

Only ONCE did I not follow my routine and I was immediately addressed… Ughhh how annoying!

You angrily threw your pillows at the door that the butler had closed.

You're tired of doing the same thing every day and if it doesn't go the way you're supposed to, it's immediately pointed out.

Your whole life is planned. You already know what will happen in the future and even your funeral is already planned.

You will be buried next to all the priests, who were once the bearers of the devil's fruit. You have a statue that resembles you and the people of your generation will pray at your grave, when you pass away one day.

It makes you sad. You won't even be buried in the cemetery of the royal family... You won't lie next to your mother and father or get married... You are not your own person. You are just the holy child of the devil's fruit.

Your thoughts are running wild. The reason to stay is your destiny but your reason to leave is freedom…

But you are not sure if you are allowed to be free. You lack nothing here and you have everything one could dream of… You keep telling yourself that.

You pull your legs towards you and bawl your eyes out on your knees. But a twisted smile crosses your depressed face.

"I should be ashamed of myself." You know it's your duty and you're ashamed of your own desires.

[Present]

Absently you look into the distance, your gaze as empty as your heart. Your thoughts dance the tango and the sides inside you argue about which path is the right one.

Your grandfather can't help but notice how you struggle with yourself, but he doesn't speak to you. He knows that if you want to talk, you will come to him. Forcing or pushing you to do something is never a good idea.

What an irony.

Because he is very aware of the weight on your shoulders. The expectation you have to fulfill… in the last week it has become clear that you have different feelings about your life. But he won't let you go, not because you have to stay. He can't let you go.

"Hey my angel, you're not saying a word today. Did something happen?" Delia brushes a strand of hair out of your face while she looks for the color in your eyes.

You feel like a stranger in your heart and exhale a little heavily.

"Not really."

Delia looks over at your grandfather, hoping for support, but he just watches quietly.

The table is filled with the most delicious pastries and food. All your wishes are always fulfilled without you having to do anything. Your life is so full that it makes you incomplete.

Do this, do that. Don't do this and don't do that. Be kind and friendly. Be elegant but smart. Be dignified but cunning. Be the most beautiful but the purest.

Love everyone but let no one alone own your heart. Sacrifice yourself but never die.

You are supposed to be so much and to your surprise you have always listened and obeyed. You fulfilled and even exceeded all expectations. You are holy.

But you are so much that you don't recognize your true face when you look in the mirror. Through your new friends you were able to realize that you are more than the praised child.

You are y/n. You don't want to be a princess or a priestess. You don't want to do the same thing every day. But you also don't want to leave anyone behind, neglect your duties and leave people who still mean the world to you without protection. You don't want to betray the gods, especially not after they've given you a chance. You don't want to disappoint anyone.

So is this the price you have to pay?

You are aware of what your heart longs for but you are stuck in some sort of identity crisis.

You can't have it both ways.

A/N: Hey babes! I wanted to talk to you about something. I'm always happy when you guys want to know when I'm posting the next chapter. Seriously! I feel so honored that I want to shower you with kisses. I would love to post several times a week but unfortunately I'm an adult (silent weeping). Yes I know I'm not the only one of course lol but I'm studying and working 30 hours a week on the side. I'm a tired bitch XD Feel free to keep asking me when I'll post again ♡, but I just wanted to let you know that I'm a bit busy. Normally I try to post once a week but the blockade is messing it up even more >:( Oh no, writer's block? Yupp and I hate it! let me explain; I'm currently near the end of the first arc and even though I have so many ideas, I'm having a hard time letting my imagination run wild. I hate it. There's still some info to wrap up but when I read my drafts I don't feel like writing anymore... I'm dying to get started but the Tanata arc is our prequel and unfortunately it's a bit dry. Dry is fine, but only for wine. How many arcs are planned, you're probably wondering; Well, I don't have a real ending in mind yet, I'm enjoying the process and developing more and more new ideas to keep the story alive. At the moment we are in the "Tanata arc", after that I already have rough ideas for 2 more arcs planned. The second arc is called "Polar Tang arc" and the third "Dress Rosa arc" In fact, I'm sticking to the original storyline of One Piece but creating an alternative version. I know there's always the fear that the author of the story you like, will cancel the story but believe me… I'm just as excited about what's going to happen like u are. lol, like I'm not the author XD I have some pretty dramatic stuff planned and I would love to do a timeskip but unfortunately I have to finish the Tanata arc. We can't look into the future if we don't live the present as my mom would say. Ughhh.

See you next time, kiss kiss ♡

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